Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 81694 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 408(@200wpm)___ 327(@250wpm)___ 272(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81694 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 408(@200wpm)___ 327(@250wpm)___ 272(@300wpm)
His mouth covered mine, silencing my words. I tasted the salt from my tears as he made me forget for a moment why my chest hurt. The gentle way his lips moved over mine made the rest of my world fade away. He controlled me in these moments. He owned me, and I thought he knew it.
When he ended the kiss, pulling back, he stared down at me. “I’m sorry. I let my need to be inside of you again, to feel that, control my actions. I didn’t consider you. I should have. You’re not the same girl who left me. You don’t deserve the way I’ve treated you.”
Each word out of his mouth was like a splinter in my soul. I could see the goodbye in his eyes. I had chosen honesty, and this was the price I would pay.
“I can’t do this.” His voice was tight as he said it. “As much as I fucking want to. As badly as my body is already craving you again. I can’t. Go upstairs, pack your things. I’ll have a car take you home.”
With that, he finished twisting the knife in my gut and then shoved it into my chest.
Twenty-Seven
Shiloh
There was no goodbye. He simply texted me that there was a car out front, waiting on me. He didn’t watch me leave or say anything more. Every step I took from that house caused the emotional pain to morph into a physical one. One I recognized.
A man appeared at the car door and took my bag, then opened the door for me to get in. I didn’t even say thank you. The slow pounding in my head was coming on faster than usual. The morning sunlight didn’t help. Closing my eyes, I curled my legs up on the seat and tried to breathe slowly. There was pain medicine at home I could take. I would get there. It would be fine.
“Do you feel okay, ma’am?” the driver asked.
I tried to open my eyes, but that was too much at the moment. Instead, I nodded my head. “Yes, fine, just a little tired.”
When the car started moving, I was thankful he wasn’t going to continue to speak. He remained silent on the drive. I prayed the nausea that came with this waited. The radio wasn’t loud, but it wasn’t helping. Speaking to ask him to turn it off seemed too difficult of a task.
The first nauseous wave hit me, and I wanted to cry.
The car came to a stop, and I heard the driver get out. I would have to open my eyes to get inside. Forcing them to endure the sunlight, I squinted as the driver opened my door. Talking myself through the steps, I managed to get out and take the bag he was holding for me.
A muttered, “Thank you,” was the best I could do as I walked to the door of my apartment building.
The lights inside weren’t as awful as the sun had been, but it still hurt. Everything hurt at this point. Getting inside my apartment was slightly difficult. Getting the key in the lock was a struggle. Wilder wasn’t home, or he’d have been out here already.
When my door finally opened, I dropped my bag and headed for the bathroom. Just as my knees hit the floor in front of the toilet, I threw up. Several heaves until there was nothing left. I wanted to curl up on the bathroom floor, but I needed the darkness only my bedroom could provide. The blackout curtains were in there for a reason. Grabbing a washcloth, I ran it under the cool water and did the best I could to clean my face.
The curtains were already closed in my room, and I walked to the bed, falling into it and curling up before I realized I hadn’t gotten the pain medicine. I knew I couldn’t physically get up and eat something in order to take the pills. Not in the state I was in. Sometimes, it eased on its own. I could wait and see. Give it time.
Tears slipped from the corners of my eyes, and I couldn’t stop them. I had to face the emotional pain if I had any chance of getting over the physical. Time seemed to fade in and out. I wasn’t sure if I was sleeping any or not. The migraine wasn’t easing up. Twice, I tried to stand up to go get some medicine, but I was too dizzy.
I wasn’t sure which direction the door was in, and I lay there to think about it a moment. Before I knew it, the time faded some more. I shivered, wishing it would ease. My mouth was dry. In the distance, I thought I heard my phone ring, but I wasn’t sure.
I’d dropped my things when I got here, hadn’t I?