Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 79155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
I snickered at his comment. “Not that old, according to Kace. He seems to really like the salt-and-pepper in my hair, you know.”
“Jesus Christ, you bagged Kace Tomlin,” Charlie said as he came over to give me a hug too. “You’re the luckiest motherfucker in the world, Nathan.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” I said. “I’m pretty sure I just insulted him by breaking off a kiss when you guys showed up.”
Charlie stepped back. “Go. Go get him. Right now. I couldn’t live with the idea that I was the one who ruined your chances with Kace.”
My head was a frenzied mess. “I don’t even know if there are chances. I want him—and I think he wants me—but I don’t know how any of this works. I don’t know if a guy like him wants more than a hookup, and I sure as hell don’t know if he would want that with me.”
“Just go be you,” Shawn said simply. “That’s all you can ever do, right?”
I nodded, swallowing hard. “Right.”
“Then off you go,” Charlie said, giving me a little push. “Go, go!”
I headed off toward the house again, adrenaline the only thing making my legs move forward. I felt like the weight of a thousand worlds was off my shoulders now, and I’d just finally told the truth to the people closest to me.
I knew I might be about to lose Kace. I may have already lost him.
But I could be me.
The real me. Finally. A version of me that had been hiding like a gem covered in silt, just waiting for the right person to brush it off and reveal what was always below. Kace was exactly the kind of person who could do that—who could work the best little secrets out of anyone, and could make people feel like their true selves were something to be celebrated.
Right now, I just wanted to celebrate him.
When I found Kace again, he was standing right by the pool, illuminated by its blue glow. He had just chugged a beer. Even though he was surrounded by friends, he still looked miserable, and none of them seemed to notice or care. It nearly broke me, seeing him like that, so not like himself. He was in pain, and at least part of it had to have been my fault.
I needed him to know that I cared.
Even when everyone else just expected him to be the token charming, hot, famous guy.
Even when his family was hell-bent on denouncing him.
My heartbeat was like a drum in my chest as I approached him, the rippling water of the pool shimmering against his skin. The camera crew was right there, the cameras pointed at Kace, actively filming.
I stepped in.
Kace pulled in a long breath, turning to his friends. “Can we get just a second, guys?” he asked before turning to the TV crew. “Cameras off for a sec, okay?”
“Kace,” I said.
“You can just go home if you want to, Nathan,” Kace said, helplessness in his voice, his baby blue eyes like stormy oceans, reflecting the pool.
“Tell me you’re okay,” I said softly. “I thought I was helping, and then—”
“Listen, you couldn’t even hug me with your brother and friend nearby,” Kace said, his eyes going wide, confirming all of my suspicions. “You’re so grossed out by me that you can’t be seen hugging? I just lost most of my family when I came out. If you aren’t going to be there for me—really there—then I can’t hang, Nathan. As friends or anything else.”
I felt like my stomach had just been flipped upside down.
Kace thought that I didn’t want to be seen touching him? For fuck’s sake, he thought that I was grossed out by anything we’d done?
Something snapped into focus inside me, a jolt of adrenaline rushing into my veins. I glanced around, looking at the party surrounding us and the camera crew right there, just waiting.
“Feel free to film this,” I told one of the guys, letting go of any remaining shyness inside me.
I took a step closer to Kace and leaned in to kiss him, right there in front of everyone.
He gasped against me. But he didn’t pull away. He started to kiss me right back, not turning away at all.
And for the first time in a long, long while, I felt completely free.
18
KACE
The crowd around us erupted into whistles and a few low cheers.
“Oh God,” Nathan said against my lips, resting his forehead against mine for a moment. “Kace. You are okay with this, right? I didn’t just ruin absolutely everything for your reputation, did I?”
I felt breathless. My heart was slamming inside me.
As if I gave a single fuck what anyone else thought right now.
Nathan had just knocked me on my ass, snapping something back into place inside me that had felt wrong for way too long.