Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 119011 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 595(@200wpm)___ 476(@250wpm)___ 397(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 119011 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 595(@200wpm)___ 476(@250wpm)___ 397(@300wpm)
Which meant that he had shown Neil notes about other men he described in the diary.
“So what is this for, huh?” Leo swallowed, unable to stay still. “And I asked you if you fuck Neil. Answer me!”
Zolt sighed and rolled his forehead against the wall while Leo’s heart bled. “Obviously not now. I’m not a liar. If I say we’re exclusive, then we’re exclusive until we agree to stop.”
Leo opened the notebook on a random page. “‘Barry. Said he was straight but really wanted to listen about dick-sucking. Needs a little work, but totally fuckable. I’m giving it two weeks.’” Leo had to take a deep breath. “You hurt me earlier today, but this? What the hell? It was bad enough to hear I’m just another fuck buddy, but now I find out I’m just another challenge ticked off your list of guys you want to fuck?” Leo flipped to the back of the notebook, fighting tears as the letters blurred in front of him. “You literally have a list. ‘Teacher, carpenter, footballer,’ and there we go, ‘biker’. Ticked off.”
Zolt said nothing, and that was even worse than hearing him roll out excuses. It meant he knew how wrong he’d acted, yet still chose to treat people as holes to add to his collection.
Leo threw the notebook onto Zolt’s bed, longing to wash his hands off this filth. “I thought we just argued. That we could still have… whatever it was that we had, but you’re not who I thought you are.”
Zolt sighed, as if the argument that tore Leo apart was an inconvenience for him. “We’re friends. With benefits, but still. I don’t see how my private notes change that.”
Leo shook his head and started gathering the few things he had here into his duffel bag. “Because you don’t even treat me as a friend. I’ve had all these hopes, and fears, and anxiety, and excitement, and you just watched me and waited to put your dick in me. What is wrong with you? I should pretend I don’t care, but that’s not me, so there. I’m so fucking hurt I can’t even be around you anymore.”
“I told you from the start. I like having fun. I don’t get serious about anyone. Why would you hope for anything else?” Zolt asked after a couple of heartbeats, and Leo’s throat tightened so rapidly he wanted to just leave his things behind and go right away.
He'd ridden his bike at full speed, and Zolt was an impenetrable wall he’d smashed right into, having no idea it was there in the first place. Because who would put a fucking wall in the middle of an open road?
“Because we worked well together! I’ve—I’ve never felt this much for anyone.” Leo picked up the last T-shirt and shoved it into the bag. “The one good thing about this is that I finally understand how things are. And I don’t even have to worry anymore if I’m bisexual or not, because there’s no other guy I like. Problem solved!”
Leo wanted to shove Zolt as he walked past him, but he realized he didn’t want to touch someone so toxic, someone capable of causing him so much pain without throwing a single punch.
Zolt moved with a moment’s delay, following Leo through the blurry living room. “What about the drugs?”
Leo glanced at the sofa, in disbelief that they’d fucked bare on it only a few hours ago. How did black become white in such a short time? He’d been planning a future with this man. He’d actually fantasized about all the possible ways his family might react to the news of their relationship and of things he might tell them in answer. All for nothing.
“I can’t handle you anymore. I’ll talk to Dad and get him to send someone else tomorrow.”
“You don’t mind? What if I get my hands on your brother?”
Leo’s shoulders went rigid. “Do not provoke me, Zolt. I only need one spark right now.”
Zolt looked straight at him, his feet spread, keeping him steady as if he expected having to block physical force. “Most guys are too horny to care who’s sucking their dick. So who will it be? Mike? Axel?”
Leo dropped the bag to the sofa and shoved at Zolt’s chest. His heart bled so intensely he could sense it drying out. How could someone who claimed to care about him put so much effort into hurting him? “You put even one fucking finger on them, and I’ll know. And I’ll come for you.”
Zolt didn’t push back. In fact, he did nothing at all, standing there like a column of stone, keeping his blue eyes on Leo’s.
Leo took a deep breath, but the air smelled of Zolt’s cologne, and he just had to leave or he’d cry. And if there was one person to whom he was desperate to show his strength, it was Zolt.