Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 119011 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 595(@200wpm)___ 476(@250wpm)___ 397(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 119011 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 595(@200wpm)___ 476(@250wpm)___ 397(@300wpm)
The chuckle that left Zolt’s mouth next was like a piece of glass, which cut his throat on its way out. He was hot. He was cold. His head spun so furiously he felt like he might collapse. “You’re straight. I can’t be your boyfriend.”
“You literally just bought me dinner, Zolt. I know it’s how I identify, and it’s tough for me to adjust, but it is what it is. We live together, we fuck, and I really, really like you, so it is what it is. I even started to learn how to cook because one of us has to.” Leo stepped closer to speak quietly, but his face was beet-red.
And Zolt felt equally flushed. He tightened his hands on the shopping cart, but it provided little stability. “What about your plan? What about a pretty girl you propose to and have your two and a half of kids? That’s what you want. You told me this many times. The fact that you like dick is irrelevant.”
Leo shook his head, swallowing in obvious discomfort. “I don’t just like dick. I like you. I’m falling for you. No one’s ever made me feel this way, so if it means I need to reassess my plan, then I’ll do it. So it’s unusual, but I'm gonna be a dad to my lesbian sister’s kid. Shit changes.”
The cereal aisle in a supermarket had to have been the worst place to have this conversation, yet there they were, and Zolt had nowhere to run. “And what about my plans?” he barked, so close to hyperventilating he needed to take a step away from Leo and the hurt reflecting in his eyes. “I don’t do relationships. I have noncommittal fun with straight guys!”
Leo glanced over his shoulder when Zolt raised his voice. For a while they just stared at each other, and Zolt’s insides shuddered as if they were in a tumble dryer. He was into guys who wouldn’t commit, and while he was having fun with Leo now, there was no way to tell how he’d feel about him in a month.
Leo once more stepped closer. “For a guy who doesn’t do relationships, you really love to snuggle.”
Zolt balled his hands into fists, speechless and in a state of panic that had him backing away until he hit the shelves with granola bars. This wasn’t happening.
This wasn’t what he wanted. He didn’t want snuggling, or kissing, or movie nights, if they meant being tied down and having to rely on another person. He didn’t want to ever rely on anyone else again. And once his age made that impossible, he wouldn’t need to live anymore either.
“If you want a date, I can set you up with someone.”
Leo spread his arms aggressively. “Are you being serious right now?”
Anger was easier. So, so much easier to deal with than the hurt expression that had passed over Leo’s features earlier.
“I never said I wanted anything more than being friends with benefits. It’s not my fault you projected your own feelings on me!”
Leo grabbed Zolt’s T-shirt and tugged before glancing behind Zolt’s back, as if they were having company. “Keep your fucking voice down.” His whole body was tense as he spoke through gritted teeth. “What is wrong with you? You’re such an asshole!”
“I’m the asshole? I never promised you anything. It’s best if you learn what this life’s like before you get in too deep. Stick to girls if your heart’s that soft.”
Leo pushed Zolt back so hard this time some of the granola bars fell to the floor. “Fuck you! And do your own fucking shopping!” He picked up the fish food out of the shopping cart just to throw it at Zolt, but it was a soft packet and landed with barely a bump.
Leo turned around and walked off without another word.
Something inside Zolt wanted to leave the cart and follow him. The hooks he’d had in Leo’s flesh were all popping out, but he could still taste blood on them. This would be the end of lazy mornings in bed, of movie nights and Leo watching the fish with him while they talked. The end of flirty conversations and the end of tasting Leo’s sweat as they fucked.
But he couldn’t have any of that if he wanted to live his own way. Whatever Leo believed he was feeling now, he would eventually tire of the secrecy and having to deal with homophobia. He would meet a girl he wanted to be with, and Zolt wouldn’t be welcome in his life anymore—a reminder of a past he’d be ashamed of and which he’d have to hide from his girl.
It was easier to cut all strings before they’d grown thicker.
Too bad living together would now be hell on earth.
Chapter 20 – Leo
Leo’s stomach wouldn’t stop cramping. He couldn’t believe that this was happening to him. He wasn’t even sure if he’d actually gotten dumped or what. He didn’t want to be in the same room as Zolt, so he settled on going outside and cleaning his bike again despite the shitty weather, but staying alone with his thoughts didn’t give him peace either.