Total pages in book: 25
Estimated words: 22999 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 115(@200wpm)___ 92(@250wpm)___ 77(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 22999 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 115(@200wpm)___ 92(@250wpm)___ 77(@300wpm)
“You’re back in bed.” Xander smirks as he prowls towards me. “Are you sure you’re not too sore?” He licks his lips. “We could always do other things.”
My whole body heats as I sit up, wanting him to do all of those other things. But like always, my mind rules the decisions.
“I feel fine.” I should probably be sore, but I’m not. The pleasure Xander gave me far outweighs the small amount of pain. I look down at my hands that I’m wringing together and my eyes linger on my bare left ring finger. It’s stupid to think of Xander putting a ring there. Not only is it too soon, but he has no idea who I really am and it would change everything.
He reaches out and tilts my chin up so I look him in the eyes. “What’s wrong, love?” There he goes again with that word. My heart aches every time he says it and my eyes sting as I fight tears. I won’t let them spill because then he’ll know I’m hiding something from him.
“What did Kade want?” I blurt out, pretending that was totally what I was going to say.
Xander’s hand drops from my chin and I wonder if I’ve gone too far. Whatever was said between the two of them was family business, and to the Warsaw men family always comes first. I’m not family but I think I might fall under the girlfriend category.
“He wants to make sure I wasn’t fucking around with you.”
“Is that what we did?” I tilt my head to the side as I think about what the two of us shared. “Were we just fucking around?”
I tilt my head up higher, not sure what I want him to say. I want him more than anything, including the affection and care he’s given me. It’s been so long since someone truly cared for me and that’s what he’s been doing. I get this softer side to Xander and I want it all to myself, even if I don’t deserve it.
“Lula, I’m sure there will be times when I fuck you and take you hard and fast. When we don’t have much time, like before our kids come barging into the room, or before we have to be somewhere. I know there will be times when I need you so badly I can’t wait.”
My intake of breath is sharp, but he keeps going.
“But what we did last night was far from fucking. I was claiming you and worshiping your body. I showed you I was an asshole when you first got here, but I’m going to make it right. Last night was the first step in who I can be for you, if you let me.”
It’s so hard to fight back the tears now. “I don’t know what to say to that.” I swallow the lump that’s lodged in my throat.
“Say you love me like I love you.” I close my eyes as tears begin escaping.
He loves me. I shake my head no because this can’t be happening. I want this so badly, but I can’t say those words back to him without him knowing the truth.
When I open my eyes again Xander is looking at the floor. I’ve never seen him so defeated before. He’s always ready to take anyone on.
I love him more than anything in this whole world and he’s made me feel alive again. He’s made me feel like I haven't been robbed of a future and that maybe because of my asshole father I’ve found my destiny.
None of that matters because Xander will hate me if he knows the truth. How could he believe that this was all a coincidence? He thinks he loves me, but he doesn't know all of me. I’ve worked hard to hide the dark parts and uplifted my whole life to keep on hiding from the rest of the world.
“Give me time. I know I’ve been a jerk since you got here, but let me prove it to you.”
“It’s me that needs time.” I sit up on the bed and lean close to him. I brush my mouth against Xander’s, knowing this might be our last kiss. “Will you give me some time to think? I need to process all of this.”
“I don’t want to give you time but I told you I’d give you anything you asked for.” He drops his mouth back down onto mine and kisses me deeply. I cling to him as I memorize every part of his touch. When he steps back I hate the space between us, but it’s exactly what I asked for.
“I’ll go home and try to master something besides pancakes.” He tries to make his tone light and teasing but I know it’s forced. “I’ll see you later.”
“Bye,” I manage to say as I nod in agreement and he backs out of my bedroom.