Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 82265 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82265 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
“No, sweetie. He’s still here.” I don’t know how, but I manage to reply to her even with the wild train of emotions wreaking havoc in my chest.
“Good. He and I are having a special day.” I smile at her. At least, I hope it’s a smile. I can’t be sure with the hurricane of feelings brewing inside me.
“Right here, Blake.” Sterling stops to stand next to me. He places his hand on the small of my back. “You good?” I can feel his eyes on me, but I don’t dare turn to look at him, fearing I might burst into tears. There’s a time for that, and it’s not while I have a house full of his family to witness it.
I nod. “Yep, just anxious to get started. Thanks for your help. Bye, Blake.” I wave awkwardly and rush down the steps and take a seat in the circle of chairs, ready to start my very first book club meeting with my heart crumbling in my chest.
He took her number.
She was touching him.
She can’t wait to hear from him.
I’m too late.
Mindy takes the last open chair, and a huge smile lights up her face. “Alyssa, what are Sterling’s favorite foods? He agreed to let me fix him dinner one night this week, and I need to make sure that I’m prepared.”
I try to swallow, but there’s a lump in my throat. I try again, but still no success. He’s having dinner with her. I want to curse Kennedy and the girls for putting this silly idea in my head as I knew better. I knew we were just friends. I changed the rules. Well, I blame my heart, but it’s still on me. I’m just glad I found out before I made a fool of myself. And what were they doing in my spare bedroom? Did he kiss her too? In my house?
“Not today, Mindy,” Kristy says, with annoyance in her tone. “We’re here for book club.”
“Yeah, but why talk about fictional men when I have a real live sex god to talk about?” Mindy asks.
I hear a choking sound and look around to see who it is, only to find all eyes on me. It was me making the sound. “Sorry.” I sit up straighter in my chair. “What book should be our first read?” I manage to ask the question without throwing up. I call that a success because my stomach is churning with hurt and regret. I’ve been holding on to what’s really in my heart for weeks now. Waiting for the right moment that never came, and now it’s too late.
I pushed these feelings down deep, but I’ve fallen off the Sterling Kincaid wagon, and I don’t know that I’ll ever recover from the pain that fills my chest, knowing that he chose Mindy.
The next couple of hours drag by and are pretty much a blur for me. I almost shout in celebration when Mindy stands to leave.
“Thanks for the invite. Never dreamed I’d come here and land me one of them Kincaid boys.” She giggles, and I want to slap her to make her stop.
Just.
Stop.
Talking.
“Alyssa?” I blink to find Kennedy kneeling in front of me. “Are you okay?”
“Sure. Yeah. Fine.” I give her a bright smile that we both know is fake.
“What was she talking about?” Jade asks.
“Yeah, we need to know what’s up,” Palmer comments.
“I should never have invited her,” Kristy adds.
“I was wondering about that,” Piper says.
“That”—Ramsey points at me—“is not my idea of fine.”
“It’s all good. I let myself believe there might be something, and it was my mistake. I’m good. Promise.” Even I can hear the lie in my voice.
“That’s not true,” Palmer counters.
“It is true. It’s real life. Not fantasy.” I close my eyes and pull in a deep breath. “Look, I’m happy for all of you. You all have incredible men in your lives. Men who love you to the moon and back, and you all deserve that.”
“You do too,” Kennedy tells me.
“I know.” I nod. “Sterling deserves to find his person. That’s just not me.” I rush to get the words out. “No more. I know you all mean well, but I can’t do this. I can’t have these crazy ideas that we can be more than what we are. My heart is already breaking and we’re not even together.” I rub at my chest, hoping it will mask some of the ache.
“I’m sorry,” Kennedy says. “I thought there was something.”
“We all did,” Palmer agrees. “I’m sorry too. I never meant for you to get hurt.”
“I know.” I stand and start packing up chairs. “I just need to not talk about it. Please, just drop it. For me? It’s done. No more. Sterling is my best friend, and I want the world for him. End of discussion.”
I get a mumbled acceptance from each of them as they help me clean up the chairs and pack away the food. I send it all home with them. I don’t have an appetite. Speaking of appetite, as soon as the door closes, I text Sterling.