Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 85270 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85270 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
“I don’t want to be with you.” Seven words shatter my heart to pieces.
“Hey,” Ramsey says, walking into the room. “Everything okay in here?” she asks.
Brooks stares at me, his brow furrowed, and when he finally speaks, it’s the final blow that has my heart splintering. “Just fucking fine, little cousin. Everything is just fine.” He turns on his heel and rushes out the front door.
“Palmer?” Ramsey asks.
“I-I need to go, Rams. I need to get out of here. I don’t want to see anyone. Do I need an excuse or your car or something? Please.” My voice cracks as the pain begin to settle in my chest like cement.
“Are you going after him?”
“No.”
“Then I’m coming with you. I’ll make up an excuse. Go to my car. I’ll meet you there.” She hugs me tight. “You finally going to tell me what’s been going on?”
I nod. I don’t want to tell her, but I need to talk about this. I need to tell someone. “Best friend secrecy,” I say.
“You have my word. Go. I’ll be right there.”
Not needing to be told twice, I rush to her car and slide into the passenger seat, sinking low so no one can see me. I turn to look out the window, and I see Brooks’s truck is still here. I don’t know where he went, but I’m sure his brothers will make sure he’s okay. I’m pretty certain everyone here can guess that there is something between us. They might not know we’ve been sleeping together for months, but they definitely know that there is something.
There was something.
“Talk to me,” Ramsey says.
We’re sitting on the couch in my apartment. “What did you tell them? Why did we have to leave?”
“Oh, I said that the boutique called about my measurements and that they needed me to come back to verify.”
I nod. “I’m sorry you had to lie for me.”
She waves me off. “One little white lie never hurt anyone. Now, start talking.”
“I fell in love with him.”
“With Brooks?” she clarifies.
I nod.
“How did this happen? Start from the beginning.”
So I do. I tell her how we got started, the rules of our arrangement, and how I changed them when I fell in love with him. “I had to end it, Rams. I had to.” I swipe at the tears that are rolling down my cheeks, but it does no good because more keep falling. “I couldn’t keep wondering when he was going to decide he was done and let my heart fall even more in love with him. I couldn’t take the waiting, so I ended it.”
I take a deep breath. “He’s pissed because he wasn’t ready or whatever, but I didn’t have a choice. My heart.” I place my hand on my chest. “My heart hurts, Ramsey. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I’ll never love anyone the way that I love Brooks, and that’s on me. I crushed on him growing up, and I told myself that I could do this. I thought that I could get close to him and not let my heart get involved, and I failed miserably. He did nothing wrong.”
I take a minute to gather my thoughts. “He’s amazing and so good to me. He wasn’t even trying to be, you know? He just was. He’d say sweet things and open my door for me, kiss me hello, and make sure I was in my place when he’d drop me off at night before pulling away. He’s just… such a good man, and I needed it to stop. I needed my heart to take a step back, and the only way I knew how to do that was to end it with him.”
“Come here.” My best friend pulls me into a hug and just lets me cry. Neither one of us speak while I pour my shattered heart out on her shoulder.
Finally, I sit back up and wipe my cheeks. My tears have slowed. “I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m your best friend. You’re going to be my sister. If we can’t be there for each other, then who will be?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.” She pauses and then asks, “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.” I shrug. I’ve already told her everything.
“Did you tell him that you loved him?”
“What? No. Of course not.”
“Why?”
“Because. This is hard enough. I don’t need him feeling sorry for me for falling in love with him. I don’t want him with me because he feels guilty. He’s already pissed at me.”
“Palmer, he wasn’t pissed at you. He was hurt.”
“What?” I shake my head. “That’s crazy.”
She reaches over to the table and grabs her phone. “Look at this.”
Brooks: Is she with you?
Ramsey: Yes.
Brooks: Let me know she makes it home safe.
Ramsey: Are you okay?
Brooks: Thanks for taking care of her, Rams.