Total pages in book: 129
Estimated words: 129110 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 646(@200wpm)___ 516(@250wpm)___ 430(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129110 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 646(@200wpm)___ 516(@250wpm)___ 430(@300wpm)
His at ease expression as he ate and talked with my family.
How he became friends with Ben.
The look he gave when he pinned me against the counter.
His laugh when we killed it at Charades.
Unfortunately the second I'm back in the City, opening the door to my apartment my perfect bubble bursts.
At least the place is empty. Travis is likely visiting his brother, like he does most weekends.
Reality and dreams have a funny way of co-existing. But this is what's real. Asher is a fantasy.
I text Travis that we need to talk. Weirder thing is his response is almost immediate, and he agrees.
That was easy. Seriously, what is my life right now?
I spend the remainder of the morning rehearsing my breakup speech in the mirror just to kill time, wondering how early is too early to arrive at the concert.
Eh... screw it.
An hour later I'm outside Madison Square Garden. There's already a crowd waiting. No one is being let in yet.
I text Asher, but feel dumb, nervous, and annoyed as I do.
He doesn't respond.
My problem is I think either too much or too little. I have no middle ground.
Why didn't I ask more questions last night?
I hate how I've blindly jumped into Asher without a second thought. I mean it's not like I can just walk in and take a stroll to backstage.
Asher says come and I do, and now I'm here way too early.
Waiting for my phone to make any sort of noise feels like the longest moments of my life, and it's only been... crap. Five minutes.
I walk around until I find a quiet spot away from everyone. Then I prop myself against the side of the building.
My mind races in the worst way.
What if he's with some other New York?
But he came to my house!
I have to keep reminding myself of that.
I glance up as a loud group of girls walk by.
Crop tops and short skirts.
Damn why did I wear jeans and a tee?
The crowd has grown too.
Signs and teddy bears, other gifts for Asher and posters.
Half are singing one of his songs and the other is chanting.
I love you, Asher!
The words echo in my ears.
I said the same thing once. I used to be just like everyone here - lusting after someone it turns out I barely knew.
Only I sort of do now.
I know his favorite drink, not the one he tells everyone but the one he secretly loves, and when I lost a dare the other night he made me down a glass of something called primm. Only the bartender didn't know how to make it so he got back there and did it himself.
Then I had another, and another.
That's how I got drunk, playing that stupid game with him.
Bits and pieces from that night hazily pop in and out. I quickly push them away, too embarrassed to think about it. Shit. I teased him for actually doing something on his own, and his serious retort but lingering gaze as he said something along the lines of, only you could make me. Ugh! Then I remember saying some really dumb shit, mainly about his eyes.
I shake my head and brush it off. And okay, so maybe everyone knows his favorite TV show, but I know yesterday he was on my parents' deck bonding with Ben over it.
And damn I know what it feels like to be held by him, and how every hair on my body stood when his face was mere inches from mine.
The regret when he didn't kiss me.
How he butters his burger with ketchup.
Oh god. I still love him.
Not the Asher they know but the one I do.
I almost don't hear my phone when he does finally get back to me, and I totally freak out the entire fifteen minutes it takes me to find the specific entrance he mentions. When I push past the twenty other girls waiting outside the backstage entrance it's nearly impossible to ignore their looks, like why am I here.
He was at my house.
I'm annoyed by the time I spot his security guard.
While feeling daggers on my back I'm quickly ushered inside. He hands me a lanyard pass and tells me to place it around my neck and never take it off. Then he instructs me where to go before heading off in the opposite direction. It all happens so fast.
Again I have to remind myself that I was asked to come. That's what I'm doing here.
Soon, and as if things couldn't get any worse, I’m lost. It's a maze, one long concrete hallway that bleeds into the next.
Eventually I stop and look behind me, unsure if I was supposed to make that left two turns ago, when someone jumps out and grabs me.
I scream, and when I see that it's Asher I shove the shit out of him.