Total pages in book: 63
Estimated words: 60676 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 303(@200wpm)___ 243(@250wpm)___ 202(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60676 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 303(@200wpm)___ 243(@250wpm)___ 202(@300wpm)
I get to my car, throw the door open, and then I scream. I scream with everything I have inside, clutching the steering wheel as broken tears roll down my cheeks and my body trembles with each broken sob. It hurts, and after the week I’ve had, it’s almost crippling. If I lose Spike, I don’t know how I’ll cope, but he said he didn’t know.
I thought we were forever.
And he said he doesn’t know.
Nothing could feel worse than those words.
I’M STILL CRYING WHEN I show up to the club.
I storm in there with a mission.
I need to find Jackson, because he needs to fix this.
He’s in the garage standing with Muff, Cade, and another biker named Terry. They’re talking amongst themselves, but when he notices me, his attention is lost from the group. His green eyes narrow as he uncrosses his big arms and takes a steady breath as I storm toward him, skidding to a stop in front of him and getting in his face.
“What the hell have you done?”
“I’m not gettin’ into this with you, Ciara. It ain’t your concern. Spike made a choice, and he suffered the consequences the same as any other member of my club would.”
“He’s not just a member, Jackson, he’s your fucking friend and right now, he’s someone I don’t know. He’s breaking, and you’re too fucking selfish to see it.”
“You can take your anger out on me,” Jackson growls, “but be very careful with your words.”
“Why couldn’t you just listen to him? Hear what he had to say? Consider his ideas. Maybe if you had, he wouldn’t have gone behind your back. You’re the reason he’s out there, suffering ...”
I’m crying so heavily my vision is blurred, and my voice cracks with every word.
“Ciara,” Cade says, stepping forward, “this ain’t helpin’. You want to talk, let’s go calm down and we can talk.”
“Fuck off, Cade,” I scream. “He told me he doesn’t even know if he wants to be with me. He said he doesn’t know what he wants. He ...”
My knees wobble, and Cade catches me before I hit the ground.
My tears come out in aching, broken sobs, but that doesn’t stop him from wrapping his big arms around me.
“Something is wrong, and instead of helping him, you all sent him on his way.”
“I hear you,” Cade murmurs. “We’ll find him, we’ll sort this out ...”
“What if it’s too late. What if he doesn’t come back and ...”
“Hey,” Cade orders, pulling back and meeting my eyes when I look up at him. “He’ll come back. Spike doesn’t leave those he loves. He just needs time. You need to give him time.”
“This club is his whole world, and nobody is helping him.”
Cade glances at Jackson, but I don’t bother.
I swipe my tears and get to my feet, my legs shaking as Cade stands beside me. Now, I look to Jackson. “He might have done the wrong thing, and I know you have rules, but above all of that you should have realized something wasn’t right. You should have listened. Tried ... Done something.”
Jackson doesn’t answer me, but his eyes have softened a little now.
I turn, walking out.
I don’t want to say anything more.
I just want to get home to my babies and hold them tight.
The entire drive home my hands shake, but I try to calm myself down. I don’t want Danny to see me like this, to wonder what’s wrong. He’s a smart boy, and he’ll know that I’m not okay. I can’t do that to him. Not when he is already missing his daddy. So, I wait until my face isn’t so red and my eyes aren’t so puffy, and I walk through the front door.
Addison knows something is wrong right away.
She knows me almost better than Spike.
Danny runs over, and I lift him into my arms, forcing a smile for my boy. “Hi, baby.”
“Truck!” he cries, waving his truck. “Mommy!”
“That’s a cool truck, buddy.”
I put him down and he runs off. My shoulders slump as Addi walks over to me, and I see she’s the only one here now.
“Mercy is asleep. Now, you’re going to tell me why you’ve been crying.”
“I found Spike, he was at the club watching people ...”
Addison’s eyes flash and she straightens. “That little fucking pervert, I’m going to go down there and give him what for. I swear, he will wish he never met me by the time I’m done with him.”
I shake my head, feeling nothing but empty numbness. “He told me he doesn’t know what he wants.”
Her eyes go from angry to sympathetic as she steps forward, pulling me into her arms. I let her hang onto me, because right now I’m afraid I might fall. If I do, I don’t know that I’ll get back up.
“Honey, he’s going through something, but I promise you that man isn’t going to leave you or those kids. I know that as well as you do. He just needs to process whatever is going on in his brain.”