Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 74450 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 372(@200wpm)___ 298(@250wpm)___ 248(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74450 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 372(@200wpm)___ 298(@250wpm)___ 248(@300wpm)
“What do you see the therapist about?”
“My mama. Managing stress. Now, the death of my aunt. I can’t express myself like normal folk. She helps me with that. It doesn’t come naturally to me, and I don’t like it.”
She looked into his beautiful eyes and caught her own likeness. His eyes were like mirrored reflections, like raindrops she lived inside for a mere moment. When he blinked, his long black lashes batted as if in slow motion. She heard the rumble of a car above them, driving over the bridge at rapid speed. Gripping his leather collar, she pulled him closer and blessed him with a kiss.
“I’m crazy about you, too,” she whispered.
His Adam’s apple dipped as he swallowed. He placed his hand alongside her head, and then the other. Encaging her.
“Do you see a therapist for that?” he teased.
“Nope, but I think everybody got a little crazy in them; if they live long enough. At least, that’s what my grandmama used to say.”
“Why don’t you ever talk to me about your grandmother? You’re always asking me about my memories and my aunt, my family, but all I heard about is your parents and friends. I even heard you on the phone with your dad the other day. You said your grandmother lived with y’all for a few years. She must’ve had a big influence on you, then.”
“She did when I was a lil’ girl. I realized early on though that we’re just very different people. She tried to mold me into what she wanted me to be, just like she’d done my mama. My mama was resentful about that. Me and Grandmama is just fine. We have a good relationship but sometimes, I just have to keep a little distance ’tween us. It’s called boundaries.”
“Why’s that?”
“We love one another, but…” She wrestled with finding the right words. “We can only handle one another in small doses.” He nodded in understanding. “She thinks I’m too forceful. Bold. Too blunt. Too heavy-duty. I like my independence. She’s more reserved, old-fashioned, quiet, and though she has always encouraged my art, and feels that I’m talented, she doesn’t see it as a real job. Her words, not mine. In her eyes, I’m supposed to be married for at least ten years by now, wit’ four or five kids.”
She rolled her eyes. “At this point in my life, Love, I’m selfish. Intentionally. Deliberately. Happily. I’m heavy into self-love, reality, and spoilin’ myself because I deserve it. I work hard and I play hard. I put myself first and my own protection and peace of mind are front and center. Anything or anyone that disturbs my peace is removed like a cancerous tumor. I do surgery. STAT.”
“What if someone you love is toxic? How can you be so sure?”
“Intuition. When I listen to it, it ain’t never failed me. When I ignore it, I pay the price.”
He had her against the wall again in a flash, leaning close to her ear. She closed her eyes tight as his hands gripped her hips and he grinded real slow between her legs, working her into a frenzy. “Your intuition must be on the fritz then, baby, ’cause when I was thrustin’ inside of you the other day, you told me you loved me… I’m a walkin’ red flag. Instead of running away, you picked me up and waved me around.” He chuckled.
“I know what and who you are. I can’t find the words for this, but I can feel it.”
His eyes dimmed and a look of untainted inquisitiveness crossed his face as he turned his head to the side, like a perplexed pup. “I feel safe with you, even though I know a part of you is dangerous. I know, in my soul, you’re okay. You’ll do right by me, if you so see fit. See, the thing about me, Caspian, is I notice energy. I notice atmospheres. I notice weird shit, too.”
“You’re weird. Do you notice yourself?”
“On the fucking daily, and I’m a beast at this weird shit. Don’t you forget it.” She slipped her tongue along her upper teeth and winked at him. “I might not do anything about it, you know, the strange vibes from folks, but I notice.”
“Why wouldn’t you do or say anything? You said you rid yourself of it.”
She got the sense that she was being interviewed. Conceivably, they were interviewing each other. She was falling in love with him. Of course it was a damn interview. He was a journalist after all.
“It depends on how big the weird shit is. If I find it threatening to my mood or needs at any given time, I move accordingly. That decision determines what I do and when. I don’t let people play with my time, energy, or emotions. I take calculated risks and trust myself completely. I’m not perfect. My life isn’t perfect, far from it, but I love me.”