Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 70429 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 352(@200wpm)___ 282(@250wpm)___ 235(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 70429 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 352(@200wpm)___ 282(@250wpm)___ 235(@300wpm)
“Make yourself comfortable.” He pointed to the L-shaped burgundy couch. “Thirsty?”
Azure slipped out of her heels, leaving them at the front door, and headed over to the sofa.
“I could use some water. This is a nice place.” He nodded in agreement. “You said you’re just renting it month to month?”
“Yeah. I was lucky to get it. I don’t have to deal with putting in any furniture or stuff like that. It was already here.” Walking into the kitchen, he filled two glasses with ice and water, then popped a wedge of lime into each one. He returned to the living room, finding Azure laid out on the couch, her head propped up on a pillow. He handed her a glass.
“Thank you, handsome.”
“You’re welcome, beautiful.” He started the electric fireplace and sat across from her, watching her twisting her hair between her long, nimble fingers and staring off into space.
“…When I was a lil’ girl, I remember bein’ in a big ol’ cornfield in Ohio. My daddy had gone that way to see a friend of his and I was so happy to tag along. The stalks of corn were bigger than me. I was racin’ through that cornfield, screamin’ and laughin’, singing songs and pretending I was in a maze. After a bit of that, I was no longer laughin’, singin’ songs, or pretending. It really was a maze. I remember how hot and sweaty I got. How scared I felt. All alone. Lost in that big ol’ field. I couldn’t see my Daddy. I couldn’t see his friend. I started screamin’ his name. ‘DAAAADDY!’ ova and ova again.
“I started to cry when the sun was settin’. I could faintly hear my father hollerin’ for me and that seemed to go on for such a long time. It was nighttime when they found me. Daddy’s friend had to borrow a hound dog from his neighbor, and they had flashlights. ’Bout three men had spread out, desperately tryna find me. I kept callin’ for him until I couldn’t no more. Till I was hoarse and had lost my voice. By the time the world was pitch black all around me, the sky bruised with violet and shades of darkness, a light shined on me like a touch from God. There my Daddy stood, tears in his maple brown eyes. I had never seen him cry be’fo’e that day. I ain’t seen him cry since.
“I was so happy to see him… and that dog, too. My father picked me up in his arms and squeezed me tighter than ever. I could feel his heartbeat. He was so scared, Caspian. Come to find out, he was havin’ such a good time with his homeboy, he ain’t even notice I’d wandered off into that field. He ain’t hear me singin’. Makin’ up stories. Laughin’. I always felt invisible to him… and I believe that somewhere deep inside of me, I still feel lost in that cornfield… screamin’ out where nobody can hear me.”
They both drank in silence for a while, then set their glasses on coasters with a milky way print.
“Have you ever told him that, darlin’? That he makes you feel like he’s blind when it comes to the likes of you?”
She hesitantly met his gaze and blinked a few times.
“Yeah. I have. It’s just his way. His personality. I’m loved. He cares for me—just not the way I want him to. We can’t make people love us as we want them to. When it comes to parentin’, there ain’t no menu we can choose from… ‘I want the double decker father who lives in the house with extra cheese, is active in the churren’s lives, with a side of fries. He should have a good job, super-size it, and loves his mother somethin’ fierce. Add on an apple pie.’ That ain’t how this works, unfortunately.” She grasped another strand of hair and twirled it, relaxed her grip, then began the process all over again.
A few more minutes of silence ensued. He slowly got up, slipped off his shoes, and turned on some music. He began to slow dance by himself to Kelela’s ‘Washed Away,’ then made his way over to her and reached for her hand. She was on her feet in a flash, in his arms, swaying to the music. The warmth of her body made him want to take her down, right then and there. He buried his face in the crevice of her neck and shoulder, then slid one hand from her waist down to her ass.
“You ever feel lost in a cornfield?” she whispered in his ear.
He chewed on that for a moment.
“I think if we’re honest, we can say we’ve all felt lost at some point in our lives. Invisible. Felt like we didn’t belong. I had two best friends who would garner attention wherever they went. They were social butterflies. Me? Not so much. I was the quiet one. The one folks had to watch… People thought I was disturbed. Maybe I was, maybe I wasn’t. I think there are better things to do in life than talk a bunch of shit all the time, but I must admit to you that yeah… sometimes when I was with Axel and Legend as a kid, I felt like you in that cornfield. And yet, we were glued at the hip. The three of us have a special bond. We belong together. We were the same man—just different, if that makes sense.”