Total pages in book: 210
Estimated words: 200837 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1004(@200wpm)___ 803(@250wpm)___ 669(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 200837 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1004(@200wpm)___ 803(@250wpm)___ 669(@300wpm)
Anneeta smiles at Tyse. “A place you already know. A place with a god who will let you in.”
“Delta?” Tyse is shaking his head. “You want us to take you to Delta and give you to my old god?”
Anneeta shrugs. “He’s not a little boy. He doesn’t eat spark anymore, he makes it. And he will let us in because you belong to him. You’ll always belong to him. There is no one in Tau City who could hurt him and that means if we’re under his protection, there is no one in Tau City who could hurt us.”
Tyse huffs. “Your plan has a critical flaw in it, little god. You can’t leave the tower.”
“But I can.” Anneeta smiles at me. “All Clara has to do is feed me along the way.”
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
It’s not… lovemaking.
It’s certainly not love.
He even calls me Clara, at one point.
I do realize this is wrong. Not because he loves Clara and I’m nothing but a poor substitute. It’s actually got nothing to do with Finn.
It’s about me.
I’m the problem here. Because I’m the one giving him permission to treat me this way. Just like I gave Donal permission to call me names and assume he could take advantage of me. It’s like… a vibe I’m sending off. And deep down I understand that it’s due to some… craving I have? For love, or attention, or… something? Something missing. A father, a mother, anyone who actually cared about me while I was growing up aside from my Matron aunt and rebellious friends.
I have a father and I have a mother. But did they pay any attention to me? Honestly, I can’t say either way. They paid about as much attention to me as I did to them. Which amounts to about zero after the age of twelve when I pledged myself, not only to the god in the tower, but to the Rebellion.
Finn does whatever he wants with me as the rumbling of the crowd down below lessens, then stops completely. He puts me on my knees, he bends me over the couch, he pulls my hair.
And I can’t even complain. Not really. Because it feels good. It doesn’t matter if he’s thinking of Clara while he’s fucking me. It really doesn’t. Because I don’t love him, either. I don’t even like him.
I just want his attention.
I just crave his touch.
But I could substitute anyone for him, really. Even Donal, if he was all I had. Even Mitch. That’s why those down-city girls do it. They want the money, sure. But they want the attention too. It’s a sickness for girls like me. Girls who lift our skirts up anytime someone so much as looks my way.
My auntie was right. Donal was right. I’m a slut.
The thing is, I don’t care. I don’t care about any of that. I care about the history books. I want people to know who I was. I want them to say my name a hundred years from now. I want them to turn my tale into something bigger than life.
Jasina Bell—the young rebel who found the Looking Glass.
Not only that, I found the message that Auntie was looking for. I’m sure Aldo was picturing Finn alone while he watched the message. He certainly wasn’t picturing a particular red-haired rebel. But I was there. I heard everything. While Finn was shutting down, in shock, and unable to process the information spilling out of Aldo’s mouth up on the wall, I was taking notes.
I wrote it all down so I don’t forget? Sure. Fine. It’s a good reminder.
But that’s not why I wrote it down. I wrote it down so there would be a record of this night. So that Aldo’s message would be preserved for all eternity.
Leave the tower.
Blow it up (already in progress).
Get on the train and go down the line.
There were also a few warnings. When leaving the tower by the secret staircase that leads under the god’s tower, keep going and do not stop no matter what you see. Which is a bit creepy. And concerning. Is there a monster down there?
But the weirdest thing was the second caution. Do not talk to your mother.
Not my mother, of course. Finn’s mother.
This is when I remember Finn telling me that his mother had joined a cult. Which, obviously, is the Matrons. So while this caution was not meant for me, it’s very helpful. Because it means I should not talk to my auntie. I will never tell her about this message from Aldo. Ever.
I had some reservations about destroying the Looking Glass. Before the countdown, at least. My first impulse was… no. No way. I’m not destroying the Looking Glass! That’s my legacy. But then I realized that this has been my goal all along. Because my goal was to free the people of Tau City. And if this Looking Glass is destroyed, there will be no more Extractions.