Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 78867 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 394(@200wpm)___ 315(@250wpm)___ 263(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78867 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 394(@200wpm)___ 315(@250wpm)___ 263(@300wpm)
Big Daddy didn’t tell me the truth in the way I’d expect from him. He didn’t deliver the devastating news in a matter-of-fact tone the way he’s done so many times in the past. He was calm and gentle, begging me to forgive him with tears dribbling down his weathered face.
I promised that I did forgive him, but it’s been several days, and I just haven’t been able to go back and visit him. I’m not trying to punish the man that raised me with so much love, but the news cut me deeply.
“Spade helped with the porch, but had other plans tonight, so he won’t be joining us for dinner,” Aro says as he lifts the menu in front of him. “Are appetizers included?”
I nod, trying to maintain my composure.
I promised the guys dinner for helping with my front porch after they refused to let me pay them or buy the supplies needed to make it happen. Appetizers are the least I can do.
The waitress stops by to get their drink order, and I have to smile when Aro orders nearly half of the pre-meal snacks.
Conversation picks up, and I do my best to be engaging, but my mind wanders.
It’s a mess of all the unanswered questions Big Daddy refused to answer like where my mom killed herself and how. I don’t know if she left a note, and I may never have answers to these questions.
“It won’t help with the pain,” he’d said more than once.
I argued at first, but then realized this man had lost his daughter, and he’s still hurting to this day, knowing all the details.
In addition to those thoughts, I’m now wondering why Spade didn’t come with the other guys.
Did he make plans with another woman?
Does he just not want to see me?
“I think I know the answer, but I had to ask.”
I look over at Legend, somehow losing track of the conversation.
“What’s that?”
He gives me a small smile, and it’s filled with sympathy. I hate the look on his face. I don’t need anyone worrying about me.
“I thought maybe you’d want to stay at the clubhouse when we leave for work.”
My head shakes immediately. “No, thank you.”
“You and Faith can have a girls’ night, or several girls’ nights.”
“We’re having a girls’ night right now.” I lift my drink, grateful when Legend asks Aro a question.
A girls’ night is one thing but being at the clubhouse for days and possibly weeks would undo everything I’ve been working on the last couple of weeks. I know I’d seek out Spade’s room, needing to revisit that first night we shared, and I already do that enough but from the sanctity of my own home.
I need my space and silence to work through all the shit that has been weighing me down.
“You’re sure?” Faith asks when the guys start to argue about the fucking Super Bowl of all things.
“I’m sure,” I tell her, a weak smile the best I can manage.
“I’m worried about you.”
“I’m working through it all. It’s just going to take time.”
“You’ll let me know if there’s anything you need?”
“Of course,” I tell her as I wave my empty glass between the two of us. “Are you my designated driver? Because I think I’m going to need a couple more of these things.”
Chapter 36
Spade
“You coming?” Aro asks as I enter the clubhouse.
“Coming to what?” I ask as I make my way to the kitchen for a cold bottle of water.
“Probably not since you just worked out.” He points to my sweat-damp shirt. “When did you start running?”
“How do you know I was running?” I snap.
That’s the thing about Cerberus. Everyone is in each other’s fucking business, but there’s one subject they seem to have taken a vote on not mentioning around me. It’s gotten to the point that I want to scream because I want to fucking talk about it. I want advice from the guys who have managed to snag the fucking woman of their dreams. They’re all very fucking helpful getting on my nerves until I really need them, and then it’s nothing but fucking crickets around here.
“Your legs are dusty from the gravel road. What’s your problem?”
Guilt builds in my chest as I chug a bottle of water.
“I’m fine.”
“Obviously,” he mutters before turning around and heading toward the back door.
“I’ll join,” I say, feeling like an asshole.
Aro waves me forward, directing me to the gym connected to the indoor pool, and I instantly regret agreeing to something without asking questions the second we step inside.
“What the fuck is this?”
“Yoga,” Aro says as he stretches his arms over the top of his head.
“How long have you idiots been doing yoga?”
“Weeks,” Ugly answers as he squats and rocks back and forth. “It’s a hell of a workout.”
“And it calms the mind,” Slick says with a smile a little too knowing for my liking.