Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 80664 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80664 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
I turned around and Bear’s arms came around my waist, pulling me back against him. “That’s the last time I want to talk about that, okay?” I asked, in a much softer tone, now that Bear’s beard tickled my temple and neck and I was surrounded by the comfort of his strong tattooed arms.
“Yes ma’am,” he said, his deep voice rumbling against my throat as he used every bit of his southern drawl to do that thing he does when he says something and my point goes out the window.
“You know you lay on your accent thicker when you’re trying to be sexy, right?” I asked, turning in his arms, asking him a question I knew he already knew the answer to.
“Oh, baby,” he said, with a crooked smile. “I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about.” His lips came down on mine in a kiss that was not meant to be anything more than a kiss, but still had me quivering and the hairs on my arms standing on end. I fit perfectly in his arms.
Surrounded.
Safe.
Loved.
“What do things look like from here?” I asked after he’d pulled back. I looked out into the grove, the trees were tangled with one another. The rotting oranges no longer smelled as the earth absorbed them. “With us.”
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Bear asked, knocking on the top of my head.
“I just… I mean.” I took a deep breath. “The entire time I’ve been with you, you weren’t the Prez of an MC. You were just Bear. I don’t know a lot about club life, what’s involved or where I fit into all of that. So I just wanted to know, you know…what happens to us?” My confidence from only a few moments earlier faded quickly leaving me squirming in his grip, but he held me even tighter.
“Ti, nothing happens to us.”
“Oh,” I said, my heart sinking, my grip around his neck loosening.
“No.” Bear rolled his eyes. “I meant that nothing changes. It’s still me and you, baby.”
I didn’t say anything. I knew I would learn what being an old lady was all about, but I didn’t want to disappoint Bear in the process. “I just don’t know a lot about the lifestyle. Or about my place in it.”
Bear smiled and ran his thumb over my bottom lip. “That one’s easy. Your place is right here by my side. All the other shit you’ll learn. I’ll tell you something. A lot of guys in the Bastards kept their biker life and their family life separate, almost like they were two different people. Wives at home, whores in the club. I know how it feels to be a biker, and not a man. I know how it feels when you find the person who makes you realize you can be both. I don’t want to be two people.” He sighed. “For a while there, I didn’t have you or a club, and now I’ve got both of you, and I’m not keeping nothing separate and I’m not hiding you away. You’re it for me, baby. We’re family. Me, you, King, Ray, their crazy-ass kids, and now my brothers.”
“It’s all that simple, huh?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.
“I’m not gonna lie to you. There will be times I won’t be able to tell you shit. Certain secrets are kept only between brothers. But if I can’t tell you shit, then I’ll just tell you I can’t,” Bear said. “I’ll be as honest as I can and I expect the same from you.”
“Okay,” I agreed. Simple enough.
“I promise I won’t shut you out. Not now. Not ever. Not gonna lose you again.” He tipped my chin up so he could look me in the eyes when he said, “You’re mine.”
“And you’re mine,” I said. Bear closed his eyes like I’d just hit him with something hard and when he opened them again, they were the color of the clear sky overhead.
“I think what I was just trying to tell you is that it’s okay now, you know. You’ve protected me. You’ve already fulfilled a promise that you never meant to keep. I don’t want to hold you back. You’ve got your club. You’ve got your brothers. I’m safe. It’s okay. No matter what you want to do,” I said, needing him to know that his obligation to me was over. If he wanted to let me go it would hurt. It would be something I’d never recover from.
But I’d live.
Because if I’d learned anything in the last year it was that I was a survivor.
I AM a survivor.
“Hold me back?” he asked, pressing his thumb and forefinger against his eyebrows like he had head pains. “You’re not holding me back. What do I need to do to make you get it? I’ve already asked you to marry me for Christ’s sake. Don’t you see it?”
“See what?”
“I can’t believe you don’t fucking get it,” he said, the fire returning to his eyes. “You’re not holding me back because you’re the one moving me forward.”
My heart leapt at hearing the words I needed to hear. I was now completely ready to start this new life. With Bear. “I was afraid you were bringing me here because you were taking me home for good,” I admitted.
“Home?” he asked, pounding on his chest with his fist. “This,” he said. “This is your home.” He lifted my hands by my wrists and pressed my open palms to his chest. “This is your home.”
I felt a tear spill out of the corner of my eye and roll down my cheek before I could stop it.
“I’m your home baby, just like you’re mine, and if you want brutal honesty like you say you do, then I’ll tell you right now that even if you wanted to leave, I wouldn’t let you. You’re mine now, so unfortunately for you, it’s not an option,” Bear growled.
I sniffled, because I’m a stupid girl and my beautiful man was telling me beautiful things and I couldn’t help myself. “I don’t want the option,” I admitted.