Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 84802 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 424(@200wpm)___ 339(@250wpm)___ 283(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84802 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 424(@200wpm)___ 339(@250wpm)___ 283(@300wpm)
I look ahead at the altar, not even sure I know what to say. What could I bargain with? Take me instead of him. I’m sure Zack has already said that. I don’t even know what to do, and when I hear the door opening, I don’t even bothering looking to the side.
I feel someone sit next to me. His arm goes around my shoulder, and I know it’s Max.
“I failed them,” I say softly. “I failed them both. He came to me for help, came to me for an answer, and I failed him,” I say, a tear running down my face.
“You can’t do this to yourself,” he says, still holding me. “You are always trying to make sure everyone is okay,” he tells me. “Always.”
“Yeah,” I say, rubbing my face. “I tried to leave my heart at the door, but the pull was bigger than me. It was more powerful than me.”
“You love him,” he points out.
“I do,” I tell him, “with everything that I am, I love that kid.” I turn to him and more tears come out.
“You become attached to your kids. I know how you get,” he says, and I shake my head.
“It’s more than that with Jack,” I try to tell him. “He’s a part of me. Forget that I’m in love with his father, forget the fact that I was his doctor first. It’s different.” He brings me closer to him and kisses my head. “If I lose him, I don’t think I would be able to go on,” I whisper.
“I don’t want you to get hurt if Chantal comes back and tries to get him,” he tells me, being the sensible one.
“He may not have come from my body, and I may not have carried him and felt him grow in me, but he’s mine.” I turn to him. “Chantal will always be his mother, they will always have that bond, but it doesn’t break the bond I have with him. It doesn’t negate the fact that I hold him when he’s sick, or that I tuck him into bed at night and read him a bedtime story.” I sniffle. “She can’t take that from me. She can’t take it from us.”
“You need to go and sit with him,” he says to me. “Hold his hand and talk to him,” he tells me.
“I don’t know if I can.” I tell him the truth. “I don’t know if I can sit there and tell him that everything is going to be okay.” I now sob. “Because I know it could not be, and I’m not ready for that.”
“He needs you.” He doesn’t look at me. He just looks ahead. “They both do.” I just nod my head, knowing he’s right, knowing I need to go up there and see this through. “It’s a good thing those two deserve you, or I don’t know what I would do,” Max says. “I knew this day would come and you would find your somebody who would finally complete you. “You being a doctor was your life, it is your life, but having those two guys just makes your life complete and”—he starts to blink—“it’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”
I nod my head, tucking my head on his shoulder as he holds me, and we are both quiet and lost in our own thoughts. Thoughts of us growing up, thoughts of when he finally made it, thoughts of when I ran to him, thoughts of when I moved in with him, thoughts of when I graduated medical school. Everything I’ve been through has brought me to this moment, and for all the heartbreak and sadness, I wouldn’t go back and change it. Not one little second, not one thing that would have led me off this path to them.
We walk back upstairs, and I walk into the room with Jack in the middle. Looking at the monitor, I see that his temperature has gone down one degree, which isn’t much, but it’s a start. I sit on the bed next to him while Zack just holds his hand and looks at me. His eyes beg me to tell him it’s going to be okay, beg me to tell him he is going to open his eyes, but I can’t do it. Not this time. “Did he open his eyes?” I ask him, and he just shakes his head.
“Jack,” I say to him, hoping his eyes flicker, hoping that he answers me with his sweet voice. “I know you’re really tired, and I know that you’re fighting your hardest,” I tell him, trying not to cry, “but your dad and I really, really want you to open your eyes.” I bring his hand to my mouth and kiss it. My tears fall on the bed, and Zack leans forward and pulls me onto his lap. We sit here and watch Jack. His chest rising and falling, watching the numbers on the monitors. Nurses come and go, checking him and looking at us with grim hope in their eyes.