Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 68500 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 343(@200wpm)___ 274(@250wpm)___ 228(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68500 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 343(@200wpm)___ 274(@250wpm)___ 228(@300wpm)
“Tell me,” I ordered, taunting her. “Or are you too chicken?”
I knew that’d get her going.
She’d always hated being called a chicken.
Apparently, it was something her dad used to say to her when she hadn’t wanted to be social and he’d been forcing her.
“You don’t think it’s fucking weird that the woman suddenly goes and gets her nursing degree when you announce to your friends and family that you got into medical school?” Val asked curiously. “Because it’s a very strange coincidence to me…”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “The last time I checked, your concerns with Tammy and I, as well as our friendship, ended the day you walked out of my apartment and didn’t look back.”
“Felix, I don’t know…” She trailed off when I pushed her into the wall, my anger a hard ten.
“How about you stay the fuck out of my business, Valhalla,” I growled.
Okay, so I was being a dick. I’d invited this conversation, yet there I was taunting her with my ire.
Val stiffened. “It wasn’t me who chose to come here. I talked to Rose. She said you’ve only been here for two months.” She pointed at my chest. “Which conveniently happens to be right when I applied.”
Okay, so she wasn’t stupid.
“Coincidences,” I lied.
She snorted, and I broke.
I hated when she snorted. Mostly because she was always right when she made that sound.
Like right now.
It wasn’t a coincidence that I was here.
It also wasn’t a coincidence that she was here.
It was all a very clever ploy to get her exactly where I wanted her.
“I have to go,” she said, making my chest ache as I remembered when she uttered those words to me the last time.
She saw the blow hit and softened.
“I have to go,” she said as she looked away. “I have to be at the circus for opening day.”
The circus.
I hated that fucking place. It took her away from me, and I hated that I’d never have her back because of it.
And God, those words.
She’d said them to me on repeat the day she’d left.
I have to go.
There’s no other choice.
My family deserves this.
My sisters will never forgive me.
Everyone but herself and her own mental health was on the table for her to worry about.
“Then leave,” I snarled.
She flinched, and I relished that.
CHAPTER 4
It’s about to get real basic in here.
-Val to Felix right before she orders a pumpkin spice latte
VAL
I saw the words hit him.
I have to go.
The last words I’d ever said to him.
The last words he allowed me to say.
I tried, and failed, not to react.
But the memory hit like a freight train despite my attempts.
• • •
Then
“I have to go.”
For the hundredth time, Felix tried to plead with me.
“I can’t let you go,” he said. “What about school? What about me? What about our cat?”
Our ‘cat’ wasn’t actually our cat.
It was a stray cat that we’d been feeding. But, like clockwork, I fed that damn cat and made sure it always had food. He waited for me every morning, and every night when I went to bed, he curled up under the window at my apartment complex.
And, yet again, the pang of wrongness zipped through me.
He was right.
I was leaving a lot behind.
“I have to.” My voice cracked. “If I don’t, we could lose everything.”
He was already shaking his head. “You hate that place, Poppet. You freakin’ hate it.”
He was right.
I did.
I hated it so much that I hadn’t once thought about it since I’d left.
My sisters? Yes.
My brother? Yes.
The life we shared at that circus? Hell no.
“Felix,” I breathed. “If I don’t go, every single bullshit thing we went through when we were younger would be for nothing.” I shook my head. “We have to do this.”
“But you’re almost there, Poppet,” he tried again. “You have at most three years. We could graduate and do all this together!”
He was right.
I was on the back end of becoming a medical doctor.
But the thought of my sisters and brother losing the circus because I refused to come back? That was just something I couldn’t live with.
The worst part was, I knew what I had to do.
I had to end this, or he would never let me go. He would keep coming back. He would follow me.
“Babe.” He could see the resolve in my eyes.
“Felix,” I breathed. “It’s done. This is done. I’m not coming back until this is over with.”
He looked ready to argue some more, but I held up my hand. “You have to let me breathe, Felix. This is one of those times where you’re not going to be able to convince me to stay. This is important to me.”
“More important than us?” he asked.
I didn’t stop to think when I said, “Yes.”
That’s when I could tell he understood.
I was going. Without him.
This was something I had to do on my own.