Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 99960 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99960 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
“Gee, thanks,” I muttered.
“I treated Sarah badly once,” Theo admitted hollowly.
His tone surprised me, the irritation slipping from my face.
“Worst I’ve ever felt. I still think about it, and even after all these years, it still makes me feel like scum.” His voice lowered again. “Everyone Allegra cares about … she’s lying to them. You have absolutely no idea what that girl has been through in her life. I don’t either. But it doesn’t take a genius to know she’s been through something. My guess? You married her to save the farm and she married you for a visa—don’t worry, I won’t repeat that—which means the only person she’s not lying to, and has as a confidant right now, is you.
“That’s the bargain you made when you married her. And you’d be an epic sort of prick if you left her to feel alone in this scheme of yours. No one’s asking you to love her, Jared.” He patted my arm. “But you could at least treat her with something more than indifference. For her sake. And for yours. Because I know you. If you hurt her, you’ll start to hate yourself for it.”
I nodded grimly at him.
Allegra had already changed because of my callous attitude. And I was starting to hate myself for that alone.
Sixteen
Jared
Our respective family members and friends exchanged more concerned glances as we left the Ironside home. They weren’t exactly subtle about it. Theo’s surprising words of wisdom and my own fears of turning into someone I didn’t like forced me to reexamine the way I played out this marriage.
Was I really not strong enough to forge a friendship with Allegra without it turning into something more?
On reflection, I refused to believe I had such little self-control as that.
As Allegra sat in stony silence on the drive back to the house, I considered all the reasons I’d put up this barrier between us. And if I was honest with myself, it was mostly self-protection. Not just from her and the way she made me feel, but from letting her know me. Really know me. To know where I came from and the bad shit I’d done in my life before my grandfather gave me a chance to be better.
The security lights on the house cast a warm glow over Allegra’s soft features as she waited for me to let her in. When I didn’t move, she finally looked at me. There was that sensation again. Like I’d just been punched in the gut.
I was determined not to let it scare me off.
“I don’t work tomorrow,” I told her as we stood in the cool night air. Sundays were my one day off. Georgie worked Sundays, and he took Mondays off. “I don’t need to get up early.”
A slight wrinkle marred her brow. “Okay …”
“Would you …” I cleared the gruffness from my voice. “Would you sit with me a while? We could … talk.”
Surprise glittered in her eyes.
I waited for her to reject me. To punish me for being such a bastard. I wouldn’t blame her. Instead, she surprised me right back.
She exhaled slowly. “I’d like that.”
Relieved, I let us into the house and locked the door behind us. “Drink?”
“Tea. I’ll make it.”
“I’ll get it,” I assured her as we kicked off our shoes and then wandered through the living room. Gesturing to the sofa, I said, “Get comfy. I’ll bring it ben.”
“You’ll bring it what?”
Stopping, I glanced back at her. “Four years you’ve lived here, and you’ve never heard someone say ben?”
She shook her head in amusement, before curling up at the end of the couch. “Never.”
I chuckled at that, scrubbing a hand over my face. “Maybe it’s more of a Lowland thing, I’m not sure. Granddad and Sarah always knew what I meant. It just means ‘I’ll bring it through.’ You could say, ‘I’m coming ben.’ Or ‘I’ll bring it ben to you,’ or ‘Bring it ben to the kitchen, living room, etc.’”
Her gorgeous smile widened. “I’ve never heard that. I wonder if North says it.”
“You learn something new every day.” I shrugged and left to fetch the tea and a decaf coffee for myself.
“Why don’t you have a dog?” Allegra suddenly called from the living room.
Amused and bemused by the question, I called back, “Why would I?”
“Don’t all farmers have dogs?”
“I didn’t need one. My shepherd brought his.”
“You should have a dog.”
Chuckling, I grabbed the mugs and sauntered back into the living room. “And why is that?”
Allegra took hers from me, and I settled down on the other end of the couch. She turned, knees drawn to her chest so she could face me. “This house needs a dog running to greet you.”
“Did you have family pets growing up?”
She considered me, as if still taken aback I was asking personal questions. “Mamma didn’t want pet hair in the house. Even though she was rarely in it herself.”