Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 80902 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80902 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
I'm going to cry. God, that feels so stupid, but all of a sudden, the waterworks open up, and I don't know how to stop them. Alessa puts her arm around me.
“Hey, you okay? We’re here to support each other in the face of overwhelming testosterone, not to make things worse.”
I let out a laugh through my tears. “No, no, it's not that, it's just—I've been on my own for so long. My mother helped for a while, but I couldn’t lean on her forever. You know? She has her own life to live. I love Mia, love her so, so much, but having to do everything on my own—it's hard. I'm always on watch. I'm always the one making the hard decisions, and the little easy ones, too. And I've been fine with it—it's been over four years now, but…” I look around, convinced that everyone's already found something more interesting to pay attention to, but no, everyone's watching me, and I don't see a single judging look. Just compassion. Who'd have thought I'd have to make my way back into an MC to find that? “Suddenly Havoc is back in my life, and Sledge and Phoenix too. Even with all the scary things going on, I’m never dealing with them on my own. God, you're all so welcoming and helpful and, I mean, I don't know all of you that well yet, but seeing Mia and Dante playing together… I'm sorry. It’s a little, no, a lot overwhelming.”
Alessa squeezes me harder. “I won’t lie. It is scary here sometimes, but I've never felt so cared for anywhere as I do here. Not just because of the overprotective cavemen that dragged us back to their lairs, but everyone here. This community? It’s worth it.”
I nod while sniffling. “God, I'm sorry. I don't usually fall apart like this, but you're all being so nice to me.”
“If that's what niceness does to you,” says Harper as she brings over a box of Kleenex, “then you really need more doses of niceness in your life. Stick around and we'll do our best.”
After wiping my eyes and blowing my nose, I gather myself a little. “If I can, I will. I don't know, like I said, it's complicated.”
Faith rolls her eyes. “Tell me about it. It's always complicated.” With Eagle-eye as her father, yeah, I can imagine.
“She's right, though,” says Alessa. “Tell us about it. Let us help. Between all of us, we’ve dealt with a surprising amount of trauma.”
God, they're too much. I dump my whole story on them, as much as there is. What happened to me when I ran away. How I met Havoc, and my history with the Pit Vipers and Mia's father.
Faith is especially angry when she hears about the Pit Vipers. “If I could go back in time I’d like to see them wiped out all over again,” she snarls. “If there are any left running around, it wouldn’t surprise me if they are still causing trouble.”
Alessa nods. “I know what you mean about raising Mia. I had a fling with my guys and got pregnant when I didn’t really know anything about them or the club except that my family hated the Screaming Eagles. It was my version of running away, I guess. I had her on my own because I was afraid of both them and my family. You can see how that worked out for me,” she says with a grin.
“Exactly,” says Emily. “But you’re right to be worried. I came here as a scared eighteen year old, and I don’t regret my choices, but I’m a nurse now, and I see the members when they get hurt. And they get hurt a lot. We can go months where everything is quiet, and then something like this will happen and everyone pulls together to protect their families and the club. Right now, you’re in danger, and this won’t be the last time it happens.”
I nod. She's not telling me anything I haven't thought of, though it helps to hear it from someone else. “When did you know you could make things work?”
“It’s a little different with multiple guys,” says Kaylee, who's been pretty quiet for most of this. Her smile is encouraging, though. “All of you need to work together. That’s not usually a problem for the men. They’re used to working as a team, but sometimes they forget that you need to connect with them individually, too.”
Harper nods. “Have you all… you know. Together?”
My face probably lights up like a Christmas light. “Not all together. Not yet.”
“Oh, honey. You need to sort that out now,” Natalie says with a serious nod.
“Don’t worry about Mia,” Alessa encourages. “I’ll bring her back to our place if she gets tired of hanging out with the other kids, but usually they love playing in the clubhouse with our men while we’re meeting. It’s off limits to them a lot of the time, so they think it’s fun to hang out where their daddies go.”