Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 94140 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 377(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94140 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 377(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
“Thanks,” Jax says, relief flashing in his eyes.
Still desperate to get home, I quickly scurry around the ward and find the doctor, and after a quick rundown and explaining how they’ve been looked over, he promises to see them next. Pleased I’ve been able to help them in some little way, I make my way out the door.
Getting in my car, I can’t seem to get Sean out of my head. I owe him an apology, big time. My only issue is that I’m almost positive he wouldn’t want to hear from me.
With a sigh, I get myself home and run a bath. Without Mel here, I’m as free as a bird and strut around the apartment in my underwear, not that Mel stops me from doing it in the first place. I make myself dinner before grabbing my Kindle, and the only thing missing is my glass of wine, so I get that shit sorted as well.
After an hour of still not being able to get him off my mind, I pull up a new message and sit on my couch, staring at it, wondering what the hell I’m going to say.
Why does this have to be so hard?
Then deciding to give it to him straight, I start typing.
Gigi – Hey Sean, I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from, but I need to apologize. On Saturday, I picked up your phone thinking it was mine, and seeing your background image, realized you were married. I kinda thought there was something between us and I was hurt, which is why I left. Then when I found Georgie in the supply closet, I asked her where her mommy and daddy were, and she told me that her mommy was in heaven. I feel like such a fool. I jumped to conclusions and assumed the worst of you. I was awful to you today and you didn’t deserve that. I’m so sorry. I really hope you don’t think I’m an awful person.
I hit send and instantly throw my phone away.
Crap. I did it. I reached out to a guy. Jesus Christ. This is worse than the whole Tinder thing.
I find myself watching my phone on the coffee table, waiting for him to respond. Ten minutes pass, then twenty and thirty. Then just as I’m coming to the conclusion that it’s over and that I’ve completely fucked this up, my phone lights up.
My heart races and I stare at it, too nervous to actually check the message. Crap, come on Gigi, where are those steel balls you had while dirt bike riding? He’s either going to say, That’s okay, Gigi. I forgive you. Come and fall madly in love with me or, Get fucked, Gigi. You’re a rotten asshole.
Ahh, shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
I let out a nervous breath and will the butterflies in my stomach to settle. Then needing to get this over and done with before I drive myself crazy, I fly forward and grab the phone before I convince myself to burn it.
Sean – I don’t really know what to say to you. I feel like this could have been avoided had you talked to me.
Shit, well that leaves me confused. Is this a bad thing? I have no fucking clue. That wasn’t how he was supposed to respond. Where’s the offer to come and fall in love with him? Where’s the angry get fucked message? I can deal with those, but this? Shit.
Pulling up my big girl panties, I swallow my pride and hit reply.
Gigi – You’re completely right. I’m sorry. Talking to new people isn’t exactly easy for me, especially ones that look like you.
Send. Fuckkkkkk, I went there.
Sean – I know what you mean, but yeah, my wife is gone. Sara died three years ago during childbirth. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through and it left me broken. I was with Sara since high school, and you’re the first . . . I don’t know how to do this . . . thing with you.
A new message comes through before I even get a chance to finish reading the first.
Sean – I wasn’t intentionally trying to hide it from you, just didn’t know how or when the right time is to drop a bomb like that, especially when I had no idea where we stand with each other.
Woah.
That, I was not expecting. I read and reread his words over and over again, so much to unpack there. But his main message is that his wife died during childbirth, so he’s been doing this whole single-parenting thing since Georgie was a newborn, and I realize he’s a lot stronger than I could ever have imagined.
He called whatever’s going on here a thing and honestly, I don’t think I could possibly come up with a more appropriate word for it. It is a thing. It’s not nothing but it also hasn’t graduated to being something. We obviously have an attraction to each other—me clearly a lot more than he does.