Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 86238 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 431(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86238 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 431(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
For the first time in a long time, I am brutally honest. “I’m so glad you took her. She shouldn’t have been there. I was just so angry…” I quickly backtrack to make sure I am not placing the blame on his shoulders. “At myself. I was angry with myself. You told me not to go down there, but I didn’t listen. Her death is my fault. I slipped and crashed into the banister.” I frantically wipe at my cheeks, hating the wetness on them but also understanding of them. “And I just wanted you. I didn’t want to move until you were there.” I breathe out heavily before murmuring, “If I hadn’t been so stubborn, maybe she would have made it.”
That is a lie. The doctor said she was too small to survive outside of the womb. I was only eighteen weeks, but the damage was too significant to fix. I just have a hard time remembering that when I recall how I refused to leave the laundry room for over an hour because I didn’t want to deliver her without Alek holding my hand, promising me he would make it better.
“I’m so sorry,” I mutter again, my heart shattered. “I’ll make it up to you. I will never stop trying.” The final crack to split my heart in two is heard in my sob when I utter, “But I understand if you never forgive me. I’ll never forgive myself, so I don’t deserve—”
I almost sob when Alek mutters, “Shh… драгоценный,” but the doctor said I need to lower his stress, not double it. Him seeing me cry will certainly do exactly that.
“Why are you awake?” I drag my hands across my wet cheeks before trying to say as neutral as possible, “The doctor said you need rest.”
“That’s all I’ve been fucking doing of late.” The mattress springs creak when he rolls over. He tries to hide it, but I see the slightest sliver of pain dart through his eyes when he props his head on his bent arm. “You sleep when you’re dead.”
“Which will be far sooner than I want if you don’t start taking your medication.”
“Nah.” His smile digs itself through the grief bombarding me. “You’d never be so lucky to get rid of me that easy.”
“Ale—” He shushes me this time by pressing his lips against mine. I act like a coward by opening my mouth to the lashes of his tongue instead of apologizing while he is awake, but I am defenseless to this man—utterly and unequivocally hopeless.
After kissing me until the wetness pooling in my eyes is burned off for lust, Alek drops his lips to my neck. He sucks gently at the skin, smiling when it responds by blistering with goose bumps before he lowers his mouth even further.
When he sucks my nipple into his mouth, my back arches, but my head knows what my heart doesn’t want to admit. “We need to talk.”
“Not yet.” He twirls his tongue around the stiff peak of my nipple before he peers up at me through the valley he’s demanding every ounce of attention from. “Not until we’ve made up the only way we know how.”
“I wasn’t fighting with you for the make-up sex.” He makes a liar out of me when he trails his lips down my stomach. I spread my legs apart so he can wedge his wide shoulders between them instead of clamping them shut. “Alek, baby, we really need to tal…” My words shift to a garble when he spears his tongue between the folds of my pussy before he swivels it up to my clit.
Air wafts against the sensitive skin when he blows a hot breath over me before he dedicates a heap of attention to my clit. He licks, sucks, and grazes it with his teeth, but not once does his pace step past lazy. He takes his time enjoying my squirms and begs for more—patient and increasingly torturous.
“Alek…”
“Soon,” he promises as one long finger scoops up the residual of my arousal from my pussy to circle it around my clit. “So fucking responsive.”
He breathes out heavily against my clit when it responds to the briefest brush of his fingertip with an urgent jolt. I’m soaring toward ecstasy, and he is hardly touching me. I’d be frustrated if I weren’t so intrigued by how he gets my body to respond so eagerly.
It’s never been like that with anyone else. There were dull sparks of lust and sometimes a wish to explore them a little deeper, but nothing that made me want to drag them into the backroom of a club and ravish them.
I haven’t even kissed anyone since Alek.
I knew they wouldn’t get me off, so I refused to give them the chance.
My head sinks into the pillow when Alek returns his fingers back to the opening of my pussy. As he slips two inside, his tongue tortures my clit with slow, purposeful licks. His speed is excruciating but also mind-blowing. Combined with the slow pace of his fingers as they slide in and out of me, they have me racing for climax in an incredibly quick time frame.