Total pages in book: 125
Estimated words: 119680 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 598(@200wpm)___ 479(@250wpm)___ 399(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 119680 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 598(@200wpm)___ 479(@250wpm)___ 399(@300wpm)
“If she accepts our offer, then yes, she’ll start at the end of August,” Maxine explains.
“And you want to go.” It’s not a question. Mom squeezes my hand. “Don’t worry about me. The casts are coming off soon, and I’ve got lots of support. If you want this, Winter, you should take it.”
“Why don’t we give you a few days to think it over? We can schedule a call on Wednesday, and you can let us know,” Maxine suggests.
When I manage to nod, she and Christian thank us for our time and tell me they hope I’ll consider joining them.
“We’ll give you and your mom a few minutes,” Coach Ballistic adds. “You can meet us up in Iced Out when you’re ready. And Lucy, you’re more than welcome to join us.”
“Thank you, both of you, for everything you’ve done for Winter,” Mom says.
“She’s a talented player, and we want to give her every chance to shine.” Coach Ballistic pats my shoulder and closes the door behind him.
Mom takes my hand, and her chin wobbles as tears fill her eyes.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m just so proud of you. Just so darn proud, Winter. Despite everything I’ve put you through, you’ve turned out to be this wonderful, kind, responsible young woman. And you’re so talented. I had no idea how good you were. No idea.” She chokes up. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I put you through so much.”
“You were just trying to survive.”
She shakes her head. “No. Don’t let me off the hook like that. This time with Clover, the group sessions we’ve been going to. They’ve helped me. I didn’t see it before. I didn’t see what I was doing to you, how unfair it was. How you were always standing up for me, and it should have been me standing up for you.” Tears leak out of the corners of her eyes, and she holds up a hand when I start to speak, asking me to wait. She takes a deep, shaky breath and continues. “You took the brunt of so much of the abuse, and I…I should never have let that happen. That shouldn’t have been our life. It took until this happened for me to finally see how bad it was.” She shakes her head. “Why don’t you hate me?”
“Because you’re my mom,” I say without hesitation. “We’ve always been a team, you and me against the world. Sometimes it was hard, but you were trying to keep the peace the only way you could. And you’re out now. That’s what matters.”
“You need to take that scholarship, Winter. You need to go to Chicago and play hockey for that college team.”
“I don’t want to leave you on your own in that cabin.” I bite the inside of my cheek and admit the thing that scares me most. “I can’t keep you safe if I’m in Chicago.”
“It’s not your job to keep me safe, Winter. It’s my job to keep you safe, and I failed at that a lot. But not anymore. Okay? I have people who want to help, and Clover, she’s just so kind and helpful. She’s been through a lot too, and look at how amazing she’s done. She has a PhD, and she’s a librarian, and she does all these wonderful things for her community. And that boyfriend of hers? He’s just head over heels for her.” She pats my hand. “What I’m saying is, I’ll be okay. You need to put yourself first, Winter. Take the scholarship.”
For a moment, I don’t know what to do. I’ve never seen my mom like this. Will I blink and everything will be back the way it was? Seems very possible, but I want to believe she means this. That she’s serious about leaving my dad for good and reclaiming her life. There’s so much of it left to live.
As terrified as I am that the bottom will fall out, I want this. To be a college student, to play for a team, to get an education, have friends, be free. Hope is blooming. I can’t help myself. “Okay. I’ll do it.”
She hugs me, and it feels like we’re heading in the right direction.
21 THE SAFEST PLACE
Winter
My mom is tired after all the excitement, so the Sunshine Center picks her up from the arena, and I meet the team at Iced Out, messaging BJ on the way. He’s not scheduled to perform until this afternoon, so I don’t expect to hear from him, but I wish him luck. I want to save the college news until he’s home, because it doesn’t feel like a text conversation.
My teammates bombard me with questions when I arrive. Fern decides my news about college is a reason to celebrate and invites everyone over to swim and hang out. Her place is small, like mine, but well maintained.