Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 75898 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75898 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
I didn’t want to see the expression on his face. I didn’t want to turn my eyes to his, as he took in the full frontal revelation—the confirmation of my submission, my obedient preparation for the loss of my virginity.
I couldn’t help it. I felt my forehead crease hard as I watched him look me up and down. My hands on my head as if to make clear that my body belonged to the man who had taken me in hand. My skirt raised, by him. My mortifying training panties around my knees.
My virgin pussy, shorn of its red curls, daintily and shyly showing, I knew, just a hint of its pink secrets.
As he raised his gaze to mine, the blood surged into my face. His eyes betrayed absolutely nothing for a long moment. Then he smiled, the left side of his mouth quirking up a little higher than the right.
“You’re so beautiful, darlin’,” he said. “I feel really lucky to be your suitor.”
I licked my lips, then chewed on the upper one for a moment. My skin felt like a continuous electric current was running over it, all over me, centering between my thighs but also possessing the rest of me, inflaming the rest of me, more thoroughly with every heartbeat.
“Lucky to… to be the man who…” I whispered. I blinked at him. I wanted him to say it. I didn’t know why, but suddenly it didn’t seem like enough for him to leave it at being my suitor.
Cal’s eyes narrowed, and his smile widened very slightly. He nodded, as if I had just confirmed something important. Another flash of heat came to my cheeks, because I understood what it must be. I’m a handful. I’m not going to let him leave it at the ordinary, vanilla-romantic level. I’m going to push it every time, and get my butt smacked every time.
My lips parted again, but I didn’t have any more words.
“Yes, Grace,” Cal said seriously. “I feel lucky to be the man who’s going to fuck you for the first time. You’re going to get it in your pussy, and your mouth, and your butt, after your paddling. It’s going to happen tonight. All of it.”
All of it. My eyes went wide. I had wanted him to say it. Yes, all of it—in so many words. But now I felt rebellion rising in me.
How could he just say it, like that?
I had started to breathe in ragged pants. In a flash of insight I understood the surge of resistance, how I needed to defy my suitor. The realization, though, felt unwelcome and even somehow wrong. It felt like knowing how my… well, my handful-ness worked would ruin all the fun.
I looked closely at Cal’s face, trying to beam my understanding into his eyes, willing him not to say it in words… not to say flat out, You’re going to keep defying me just because you need my discipline so very much.
His lips twitched a little, and then he said, his voice thrillingly stern, “Get that naughty butt into the bedroom and take off your clothes this minute. Don’t make me paddle you harder than I’m already going to, darlin’.”
I put it away, somehow—the distressing self-knowledge that would get in the way of me belonging to Cal, body and soul, not merely as his fiancée and someday his wife, but even more deeply. As his naughty slut. His well-trained, submissive-yet-defiant fuck toy.
I swallowed hard, and I felt the fear of the paddle and the terrible need brought on by the mere thought of it crawl through my tummy. My face crumpled in woe and terror, and with my eyes cast down to the floor I started to walk across the living room as quickly as I could, toward the hall where I knew Cal’s bedroom must lie though I had never seen it.
He stood in the doorway while I took off my clothes. Next to the king-sized bed, facing it, I cast a look over my shoulder with a pout on my face, as if to beg my justly wrathful suitor to spare my already punished bottom. That was when I saw he had the paddle in his hands. He had the handle of it in his right, and the two-foot long blade, with three holes in it, rested on his left.
Terror surged through my nervous system as my eyes traveled from the horrible thing to Cal’s face. For an instant the factual, unsexy knowledge rose in my mind, that I had provoked this terrible punishment as a way to get the man I was falling in love with to give me some firm boundaries and make me feel cared for. Then I had put that idea somewhere else, where it could reassure me from time to time but it wouldn’t get in the way.