Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 112755 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 564(@200wpm)___ 451(@250wpm)___ 376(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112755 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 564(@200wpm)___ 451(@250wpm)___ 376(@300wpm)
“I ain’t sayin’ Axel shouldn’t have helped you. I’m just sayin’ that he’ll just hold it over your head.” She drew on the cigarette harder this time around, then blew smoke from the side of her mouth.
“You real funny, you know that, Mama?”
“I’m not tryna be funny. I’m telling you God’s honest truth. You said yourself that whenever you called him when you were locked up, he wanted to talk to you about where you went wrong and what not. Like ya didn’t already know. He kicked you when you were down, so you stopped talkin’ to him.”
“And I stopped talkin’ to you, too. And Mel. And everyone else, all because I didn’t want to hear the truth. You ain’t have shit bad to say when I was dealin’ and giving you all of that money at first, before my prison stay. Payin’ for everything. When I got caught though, all of a sudden you wanted to act like I was some bad dude, because everything came crashin’ down. You was talking about you were broke and needed money, and I couldn’t help you. Melanie could only give you so much, and you was mad ’cause she stopped stripping at the club and worked at the bar instead, making less money. I’m the one who told her to get off that fuckin’ pole! That’s my sister! I gave you thousands of dollars every month! You should’ve saved that shit for a rainy day, but instead, you spent it all up on bullshit, tryna impress ya different men and friends!”
“That’s a lie, Legend, and you know it! Me and Cliff had—”
“Save it! Don’t come talkin’ to me about you and Cliff, and all the different men you had parading in and out of the mothafuckin’ house. You cared more about what the fuck they was doin’ than what your own kids were doing, and that’s why Tarik is dead!”
“YOU AIN’T GOT NO RIGHT TO THROW THAT IN MY FACE!”
“Lady, he was yo’ son, but my brother. I got as much right as you, up in this bitch, to say his mothafuckin’ name! You wasn’t watchin’ my big brother like you were supposed to, and tried to blame every-damn-body but yourself when he died. I guess the apple don’t fall too far from the tree, ’cause that’s what Axel said I was doing when he called me out on my shit. He loved me enough to tell me the truth!”
She got up and walked briskly to the kitchen, but he was hot on her trail.
“Where you think you going, Paula, baby?” He cackled. “Truth hurts, huh? Everything with you is simple. You never think about the big picture. Callin’ me over to the house today, talking about you just need a little money for groceries, when really it’s for another man you’ve gotten obsessed with.”
“I need money for food! This ain’t got nothing to do with any man!”
“I don’t believe that. You got a bunch of canned goods in here… bread… eggs… butter… hamburger meat and fish in the freezer.”
She turned away.
“Yeah, I checked when I came in here to pour myself a cup of coffee. I did some dumb shit when I was younger, but you ain’t raised no fool now.” He grinned. “Is this one married like the last one?” She reached for a glass from a cabinet. He noticed her hand was shaking. “Some bum askin’ you for a little bread, and you want to seem like a down ass chick, so you get it for him. ‘I got you, Papi!’ He batted his eyelashes in an exaggerated way. “Then you call me and ask me for the cash, knowin’ I got school and I’m trying to do something with myself. You ain’t gonna ever change.”
“Are you on some shit?! Who do you think you’re talkin’ to?! Who I date is none of yer damn business. I don’t care if you’re thirty-four! You are—”
“I’m thirty-six. Don’t even know the age of your only livin’ son.” He laughed mirthlessly. “But I bet you remember the birthdays of them Rico Sauvé’s you like to run around wit’, just wanting to use you. They look at you and see a silly ass White woman, desperate for Hispanic cock. They think, she used to be pretty, but she ain’t no more ’cause life beat her down. Bags under her eyes. They look at you and think, ‘She might be desperate, so I can get away with doin’ her any ol’ kinda way. She’s unsightly. Got some medical problems. Low self-esteem. Poor. But she got way more than me, so I’m ’bout to suck her dry.’ I’m a man too, Mama.
“I know how men think when we just wanna hit it and quit it, or get some money from some chick and run off. I’ve done all of that, and then some. After all these years, you still haven’t grown out of this, Mama. I love you, but I hate you for this.”