Total pages in book: 45
Estimated words: 42561 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 213(@200wpm)___ 170(@250wpm)___ 142(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 42561 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 213(@200wpm)___ 170(@250wpm)___ 142(@300wpm)
I’ve masturbated to the memory of that sound he made and the heat in his eyes more times than I care to admit.
“Don’t stare at me with that look on your face, Hazel. The answer is no.”
“But—”
“No.”
Disappointment lashes me. I knew this was a possibility, of course. I’ve been fucking up this man’s life once a year for the last six years. He might feel larger-than-life to me, but he’s only human. I suppose I could have read too much into his reaction last year. Damn it. I sigh and lean back. Did I really expect him to say anything different? He’s never wanted me, even if he’s always done his duty. Demanding more of him after he’s already dealt with so much is too selfish, even for me.
I couldn’t have moved forward without shooting my shot, and it sucks that it wasn’t received well, but at least I won’t spend the rest of my life wondering if I should have at least tried. Disappointment won’t kill me tonight; it never has in the past. “Okay.”
He narrows his eyes. “Okay,” he repeats. “Glad we got that cleared up.”
“Same.” I turn and signal the bartender before he can stop me. It’s my birthday and I’ll be damned if I spent my first night free being bundled into a cab and sent home early. “Guess it’s time for Plan B.”
If anything, his eyes narrow further. “I’m not going to like Plan B.”
“Probably not, but as I’m twenty-five and you’ve washed your hands of me, you don’t really get a say.” I smile at the bartender as he delivers a second drink to me. “Thanks, darling. Nothing for the grump next to me.”
“Hazel.” That delicious thread of warning in my name. “Explain.”
“Oh, right.” I don’t take a drink, but I do pick up the glass. “I decided that since it’s my twenty-fifth birthday as of right now, it’s time to celebrate properly. I can’t do that alone. I’m taking someone home tonight. Not home-home, but I’ve booked a hotel room. Safety first and all that.”
Devan blinks. He looks a bit like a cat that just got swatted with a newspaper. “If not me, then someone else. Just like that.”
“Did that sting your pride?” I give him a slow smile, though my chest aches still from the rejection. “I’d prefer to take you upstairs and rock your world until dawn, but if you’re not interested, I’m sure someone in this bar is.”
“I never said I wasn’t interested.” He stops short, but finally curses. “It’s not appropriate.”
Now it’s my turn to blink. “Appropriate.” I should let it go. Despite the spoiled rich girl routine, I do know how to take “no” for an answer. Devan has most assuredly told me no. Pursuing this further is a recipe for disaster.
Except…he just opened the door he slammed in my face two minutes ago.
I shake my head, trying to focus. “Devan.” I promised myself I would let it go, that I would keep things even remotely classy, but how am I supposed to keep myself from responding to that? Appropriate? The very concept is laughable. “You watched me masturbate in the back seat of a car last year. Are you really going to argue about what’s appropriate right now?”
His eyes go molten for the breadth of a moment before he locks it down, but it’s too late. I’ve seen it. Holy shit, I didn’t imagine his reaction that night. Devan McGuire…wants me. A whole hell of a lot, if that look was anything to go by.
He glances away. “Like I said before; that shouldn’t have happened.”
I want to argue. I want to argue so badly, I have to press my lips together to keep the words internal. I will not beg. I refuse to. If he’s determined not to cross the line with me, that’s his choice. “Okay.”
“Now that we got that cleared up—”
I shake my head. “No. Try again. Like I just said, if you’re not interested, that’s okay. You’re no longer my guardian. You no longer have to feel some obligation to track me down or worry about what I’m doing. But if you are not my guardian and you don’t want to fuck me, that means you have absolutely no say in what I do with the rest of my night.”
“Hazel.”
I give his shoulder an awkward pat. “Have a nice life. I know I wasn’t always graceful about it, but thanks for...” My voice threatens to break and I pause. No. None of that. This is a happy moment, and I might honor the past, but I’m moving on to a bright new future. Tonight is about closure. “Thanks for being a constant, even if it was one night a year.”
“Fuck.” Devan grabs my drink and downs it. “Fuck.”
I don’t know what that means, but ultimately it doesn’t matter. He’s made his call, and now it’s my turn to do the same. To let go, once and for all. I force myself to turn, breaking our tiny contact, and survey the room.