Total pages in book: 73
Estimated words: 67675 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 338(@200wpm)___ 271(@250wpm)___ 226(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 67675 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 338(@200wpm)___ 271(@250wpm)___ 226(@300wpm)
“I bet.”
Cami was standing stock still in the flow of people. Some of them sent her aggravated, sideways looks when they had to go around her, but she didn’t notice. Her huge dark eyes were fastened to my face. Her lips parted. I couldn’t read her expression. She was shocked, but was it paired with happiness or fury or fear?
She began walking toward us slowly, not seeming to realize that people were tripping over themselves to avoid running into her.
“Come on, lady,” one guy grumbled, but Cami didn’t even turn her head. Her eyes were still locked on mine.
I unconsciously tightened my grip on Emma as she reached us. This she did notice. Her eyes focused on the arms wrapped around her precious daughter, then found mine again. They were shiny with tears now, but I still couldn’t read her expression.
“Hi Landon,” she said quietly.
“Cami.”
“I guess we have a lot to talk about.”
“I guess we fu–” Emma’s weight in my arms reminded me to watch my language. “I guess we do,” I finished gruffly.
I’d wondered how I would feel when I saw Cami. It turned out, I felt all of it. The love didn’t subsume the anger. The joy didn’t subsume the fear. She was back, and I was glad, but I was also deeply, deeply wary. I buckled Emma into her carseat and wondered if I’d get a chance to hold her again or if Cami would abscond with her a third time. I slid into the driver’s seat and wanted to reach for Cami’s hand, but I was afraid that if she gave it to me, I’d want to break it.
I kept my fingers locked around the steering wheel the entire way home. Emma slept. Cami stared out the window. Then we got back up to the apartment and the time for silence was over.
We had to talk, and I had a feeling that this conversation would determine the rest of our lives.
32
CAMI
When we got back to Landon’s place, Emma went into her room without a word of protest. It broke my heart how happy she was to be back. She walked from her bed to her dresser to her closet, greeting all the toys and dolls she’d collected over the past two months. We told her it was quiet time – her choice whether to nap or not – but I had a feeling it wouldn’t be long before she was curled up in her small, four-poster bed, arms wrapped around floppy Elsa, fast asleep.
Landon lingered in her doorway the longest, his eyes drinking her in. I stayed a step back, watching his profile. It was still a revelation to me to see his defenses drop around her. Unlike me, Emma would never have to struggle to decipher his feelings or imagine his emotions. All she would have to do was look back at him, and she’d see the love glowing in his eyes.
But when he pulled the door shut quietly and turned to face me, his guard was up again. His face was a stone wall. We walked out onto the small terrace and he closed the sliding glass door behind us. I could have taken the small loveseat, but then he would have sat in the single chair, and we would have had the low glass table between us. I didn’t want anything between us. Not right now. He might hate me now, but I still loved him. I walked to the chest-high wall and leaned against it. I felt him come up beside me.
“I owe you an explanation,” I said huskily, fixing my gaze on the horizon.
“You sure as fuck do,” he agreed, but his voice was curiously calm.
I looked at him. “You know what happened.”
“I do.”
Tears filled my eyes even though I’d sworn to myself on the plane I wouldn’t cry over them anymore. “Do you know why?”
Landon’s mouth tightened. “I have an idea.”
I waited.
“Because they love you,” he said, not a trace of irony in his pale green eyes. “They would do anything to keep you and Emma tied to them.”
“That’s not love,” I disagreed.
Landon laughed shortly. “It is to them. They’re used to acquiring things, Cami. They love things and money like other people love…” he broke off, his lips compressing into a thin line.
My instinct was to defend them the way I’d been doing for years, but I couldn’t this time. Landon was right. They’d treated Emma and me like the Renoirs. Precious and valuable, but possessions all the same. Something they could store in a vault for safekeeping or put on display as the mood struck them.
“You’re right,” I said quietly. “I guess it’s easier to tell myself they aren’t capable of love.”
“Nuance is messy,” Landon agreed. He turned to me. “For example, I love you, Cami, but what you did was so fucked up I wonder if you’re just like them. If I can ever trust you again.”