Total pages in book: 23
Estimated words: 20993 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 105(@200wpm)___ 84(@250wpm)___ 70(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 20993 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 105(@200wpm)___ 84(@250wpm)___ 70(@300wpm)
He must feel me stiffen because his next words soothe me. "I don't regret us, so don’t think that. And honey, I need to tell you now, I think that you've already worked it out, but you need to know that I've never looked at another woman, not since the day that I met you in that bar in Texas. You are the only woman for me."
I shake my head but refuse to look him in the eye. "I didn't really believe that you had cheated on me, Nash. Maybe I wanted to let myself believe it so that this could be easier."
He doesn't say anything, so I have to ask, "What are your regrets?"
His arms tighten around me. "I regret leaving you all the time. I regret that we didn't have kids. I regret—" But I don't let him finish.
I rear back, and this time I look him in the eye. "I didn't think you wanted kids."
He shakes his head. "I didn't. I had a fucked-up childhood, and I never wanted to mess up some kid by being a shitty father. But now I'd give anything to have had a baby with you."
He looks at me intensely, straight in the eye as if he's searching my face trying to read what's on my mind. "Why? Do you want a baby?"
Chapter 7
Nash
She's staring at me in surprise, and for the first time since she walked in the room, she's no longer crying. I patiently wait for her to answer my question. Obviously, it's an important one by the way that her body is pulled tight, and she seems to have stopped breathing. I brush the hair off the side of her face and tuck it behind her ear.
"Tell me, do you want a baby?"
She nods without blinking. "You know I do, Nash. I've always wanted a baby."
I take in a deep breath. She’s right. I knew she wanted kids, but I was too involved with thinking I could save the world instead of taking care of her wants and her needs. Knowing that and letting it finally sink in hits me right in the gut. I should have known how important it was to her to have a child. She will make a great mother. I should have let my past stay in the past. And yeah, I'm worried about being a shitty father, but if I have Emery by my side, I know she won't let me.
I'm fighting off the pain meds, but I can feel the grogginess starting to set in. I need to stay alert for this conversation. She tries to sit up a little, but I don't let her go far. She pats me on the chest. "Tell me... tell me why you want to have kids."
I let my head fall back on the pillow, and I close my eyes. I'm not someone that talks about my feelings. I never have been, but I know I have to learn to open up If I want any kind of future with Emery.
With my eyes closed, I tell her exactly what I'm thinking. “I never knew what love was until I met you, Emery. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was scared... hell, I’m scared to death of being a father. But only because I don’t want to screw it up. I would love to have a child knowing that it’s a part of us.” I open my eyes and stare at her. “But most importantly, I want a child because I want to be tied to you forever, Emery. I know that I have fucked up in the past, and I know that you’re looking at me right now like I'm not the best dad material, but I can do better. I can be better."
She must see the anguish on my face. She pushes the hair off my forehead and cups my cheek. There’s still so much I need to tell her. "We don't need to talk about this now, Nash. You've been shot. You have a head injury. The best thing for you right now is to rest."
I shake my head. I know what she's saying is right, but still I can't let this moment pass by. "Honey, this is the first time that I've gotten you to listen to me that you haven't wanted to either slap me or run away. I need to use my time wisely."
She smirks at me as if I’m joking, but I’m not. For months, she’s avoided me, but she shakes her head, rolling her eyes. I blink as the light seems to mess with my vision. She looks at the light and then back at me. "Do you want me to turn that off?"
I shake my head instantly. "No."
"Nash, your head would probably feel better if it was darker in here."