Total pages in book: 24
Estimated words: 22030 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 110(@200wpm)___ 88(@250wpm)___ 73(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 22030 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 110(@200wpm)___ 88(@250wpm)___ 73(@300wpm)
“The VA admin office in Houston has an opening in the reception team. Strictly volunteer, but it will get you out of the house as requested.”
“I’ll take it,” I tell him. “When do I start?”
“Is tomorrow too soon?”
“Not at all.” The Captain and I chat for a few more minutes and then hang up.
“That’s good, right?” Natalie asks.
“Yes. Very.”
“Well congratulations, bub,” she says, going back to her phone. She’s always on that damn phone.
“Thanks, Nat.”
Working at the VA isn’t exactly my dream job, but I can’t help thinking that it’s a step in the right direction for me.
Should be fun.
CHAPTER
ONE
JANUARY
Here I am standing in my childhood kitchen feeling like a stranger for the first time in my life, looking at my father’s face after I have told him of my plans for the next few months. “So you are not going back to school right now, is that what you are telling me?” Of course that is what he would focus on.
“I am not saying that. I am just going to take a month or so to follow this and see where it goes, you know. Figure out who I am.” He looks sad when I say that and I wish I could take it back but at the same time, it is the truth.
“My darling girl, you know who you are.” I begin shaking my head because ever since I found out the truth, I can’t find myself.
“I wish that was true. Look, I have to go.” Getting up, I lean over, kiss his cheek, grab my bag and walk out the front door. It’s funny how for so long leaving this house was my safe space, even after my mom died this was where all of my memories with her were so it was still my safest place. Now, everything feels…false.
“I love you sweetheart and nothing you find out is going to change that. I hope you find what you are looking for but more than that, I hope you remember that everything you need to know is in your heart.” His words are the last things I hear before I take the Uber to the clinic. The ride there is quiet, pensive even. I can’t seem to stop shaking my legs and wringing my hands. Am I doing the right thing? Does this make me selfish and ungrateful? And what am I going to do if I find him? What if he doesn’t want to know me? All of this has been on repeat in my mind like an old school cd player, but I am going to forge ahead because one thing I got from my mother is determination and stubbornness.
“Ma’am.” I hear the driver address me and look out of the window.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I say, opening the door. We have arrived. He pops the trunk for me so I can grab my suitcase since right from here I am going wherever the information from the file takes me. If there is anything to find out. “Thank you,” I tell him once more before he pulls off.
Walking inside, I can’t help noticing how many couples are in here together, supporting one another and I wonder what brought my mom here, alone. “Good morning. How can I help you Mrs.?”
“Oh no, I spoke with Carin Moore the other day. My name is January Conway. I believe she is expecting me.” Her eyes light up and she nods her head.
“Oh my gosh yes. I am Carin.” She comes from around the desk and pulls me into her arms. “Let me look at you. Just a darling,” she says, touching my cheeks. I smile because I don’t know what else to do but inside I am a little confused and uneasy. She notices the look on my face since I have never been good at hiding my feelings and she laughs. “Oh dear I’m sorry. You have to forgive me. It’s just you were the first baby created from our clinic. Back when you were made, we had just opened not two weeks before.” Oh wow.
“Oh that makes sense.” Nodding she pulls me to the wall and points to a baby picture that I recognize of myself.
“Your mama brought you here once right after you were born so we could take this picture and put it on our wall.” I am in my mama's arms and the smile on her face could light up Paris. That is how she always looked at me. Like it was the best thing that ever happened to her. “Now, I know you came here for the file. Luckily your mama picked one of our donors who opted for a partially opened file.”
“Partially open?” I ask while I take the file from her hand and open it eager to begin looking through it.
“Yes. If it were closed we would have been unable to give you anything. If it were all the way open we could give you his name. Partially open we can give you date of birth, ethnicity, place of birth and plans for their life.” That makes sense. I am glancing through the file as she talks and I notice something at the bottom that says, maximum 12.