Sea of Ruin Read online Pam Godwin

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Dark, Historical Fiction, Romance Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 173
Estimated words: 163328 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 817(@200wpm)___ 653(@250wpm)___ 544(@300wpm)
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“Aye,” Priest whispered. “I know.”

They stared at each other, eyes hard and unblinking, and within the poignant, private space between them, I felt their conflict, their longing, their tortured breaths. I imagined they were thinking about the moments they’d shared. All the time that they’d lost. The rules of society that undoubtedly forced them apart.

My heart wept for them. At the same time, I felt sick with dread.

Where did I fit in? Priest was my husband, and he cheated on me with my lover. But cheated didn’t sound right. It didn’t make sense in my head or my heart.

All that mattered was that I loved them, and they loved me.

Except what they had together, the history they shared, the fraternal companionship… That was something else entirely. It didn’t include me.

I struggled to reckon all the strange, intense reactions I had to this. I was positively blindsided.

And terrified.

My chest squeezed as Priest and Ashley stared at each other in a way I’d never seen them look at anyone else. What radiated from them was more than desire and masculine heat. It went beyond the habits of possessiveness and dominance. I saw it in their eyes—their unconditional love. It blazed with a magnetic force that was too powerful to be controlled or ignored.

I clutched my throat, breathing through the terrible tightness. I was jealous. But also aghast with awe and envy. I coveted what they shared. I wanted that history with them. That brotherly bond. Without it, I felt like an outsider looking in.

With each passing second, the emotions that Ashley kept so well hidden began to surface. Muscles twitched in his clenched jaw. The hands at his sides opened and closed. His entire body seemed to lean toward Priest, his strength visibly contracting, fighting against the pull.

As his control unraveled, I tried to embrace my conflicting feelings about their relationship. I wanted them together. They would never be truly happy apart. But I yearned to be part of it, of them, of whatever they were within the walls of their stolen, private moments.

“Stop looking at me like that.” Priest’s eyes didn’t waver from Ashley’s as he rose from the chair and leaned into Ashley’s face. “Unless you intend on sticking around this time.”

“That was low, even for you.” Standing an inch taller than Priest, Ashley pivoted and strolled aft toward the bathing chamber. “I’m drawing a bath.”

A bath? At this hour?

The moonlight, skittish now beyond the windows, wouldn’t be returning tonight. Dawn was approaching. None of us were going to sleep.

Ashley moved through the bedchamber with natural grace and balance—the gait of a man accustomed to the rolling decks of a ship. But I marked the fatigue in his broad shoulders and the sheen of dust on his white breeches. He’d just arrived from London and probably made the multi-day journey astride a horse to get here quicker.

A bath was exactly what he needed.

“You can hear.” Priest appeared before me, crouching at eye level, his hand soft against my cheek. “Every word?”

“My hearing’s returned to normal.” My brows furrowed, my thoughts elsewhere.

“Talk to me.” Elbows braced on the arms of my chair, he let his hands dangle on my lap, trickling light caresses against my thighs. “Tell me every thought in that beautiful head.”

“All right.” I cleared the scratch in my voice. “I want to understand. I’m trying. But I feel like I don’t know either of you. I’m in love with two men who are living this whole other life.”

“That’s not—”

“Be quiet and let me speak.” I breathed in slowly and released my lungs. “For two years, I believed the author of that letter was a gorgeous, intriguing noblewoman, who was torn between her duty and her heart.”

“You weren’t entirely wrong. The noblewoman just happens to be a nobleman.”

“The same nobleman I fell in love with.” What were the odds?

The sound of water pumping from cisterns drifted from the bathing chamber.

I dragged my fingers over my hair, unable to find my bearings in this new reality. “I have so many questions.”

“Ask them.” His hand found mine.

I met his adoring eyes and steeled my spine. “Have you been with other men?”

“No. Neither has Ashley. The physical aspect of our relationship didn’t surface until he joined the Royal Navy. As we grew older, time and distance separated us, and within that loneliness, our longing evolved into something more primal.” His dark eyebrows crept together. “Perhaps lust is a symptom of the trust we built together as boys. But it’s never been a driving force between us. Nor have we ever sought sexual relations with other men.”

I nodded. Then shook my head. “I don’t know how I fit into that.”

“Well, Ashley and I prefer the softer, lovelier, fiercer sex… As it happens, we prefer one woman in particular, who is eager to do more with her life than breed heirs and attend society dinners.” He smiled softly. “You’re the glue, Bennett. The reason we’re here. Think about it. Ashley and I fell in love with the same woman. Was that coincidence? Or something more profound? You know what I think?” He traced his thumb along my bottom lip. “You’re the overruling destiny that he and I have been traveling toward our whole lives. Our paths forked, veered, crossed, and forked again a dozen times. And here we are, right where we started. With you.”



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