Total pages in book: 135
Estimated words: 127390 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 637(@200wpm)___ 510(@250wpm)___ 425(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 127390 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 637(@200wpm)___ 510(@250wpm)___ 425(@300wpm)
The first year of Cody prospecting was hard. On me. On him. On us. I’d thought I knew what I was getting into. The club had been a presence in Amber since before I could remember. My mother respected them, but she didn’t approve. She’d raised me bedtime stories about the big, bad bikers and what would happen to me if I found myself embroiled in their world.
Which was exactly where I was.
Despite the fear, the danger, the loneliness, I liked our lifestyle. Loved the family we had. Loved that Cody seemed to have found his peace.
But to find that peace, Cody had left himself behind. He was no longer Cody. He was Ranger. First to the club, then to himself, then to me.
Five Years Later
I stared at the two lines on the stick in my shaking hand.
Were my hands shaking out of happiness or fear?
We’d agreed that we didn’t want kids until Ranger had patched in, been in the club for a good amount of time. We were going to wait for the chaos to settle down, until things weren’t so dark for the club. Until we could save enough money to afford a baby. Ranger had enough money to buy us a small bungalow with a view of the beach, near Cade’s newly purchased house. Cade and Brock were already members when Ranger got back from… wherever he’d been. Five years married and he still hadn’t told me where he’d been or how he’d come across Gage.
Gage was broken in ways that Ranger wasn’t. There was a violence to him that should’ve scared me, but instead, I wanted to protect him. I made him come over to the house for dinner at least twice a week and didn’t force him to speak if he didn’t want to. I didn’t want him to be alone.
I didn’t ask him about his past, just like I didn’t ask Ranger where he’d been or how he had the money to buy us the beachfront bungalow. I wanted to know, but I wanted him to have peace more. As much as I wanted him to share all of his darkness with me, I trusted him to tell me if he needed to, and I wouldn’t push it if it meant that whatever had brought him back to me would go away.
It was naïve maybe, but I was just happy to have him back. To sleep beside me every night. To whisper to him in the darkness, telling me things about himself that made tears stream down my face. He was still healing from wounds I would never be about to stitch up, erase, but I tended to them best I could. Loved him exactly as he was.
I even loved the Sons of Templar. It was hard at times, but mostly it was a life that I felt like I belonged in. There was danger. Uncertainty. Late nights. Lonely nights. Blood-soaked clothing. Bloody knuckles. But there were also full dinner tables. Barbeques. A sense of safety. Brotherhood for Ranger. Family like I never would’ve had otherwise.
My mom never came around to the house, but she at least attended our small wedding. On dad’s insistence, no doubt. We had dinner with them once a month. It was always strained.
But I had Ranger.
The club.
And now, a positive pregnancy test in my hands.
“You haven’t told Ranger?” Evie asked.
She was sitting out on our patio with a glass of whisky. I had wine that she’d urged me to at least sip to take the edge off.
Though I desperately needed something to take the edge off, I hadn’t touched it.
“He’s still on a run,” I said. “And I didn’t want to call him with this type of news. Especially...” I trailed off.
“Especially if you’re not sure if you wanna keep it,” Evie finished for me, no judgement in her voice.
I flinched anyway, hating the words being spoken out loud. Why should it make any difference? I’d been thinking those same words since I’d seen the result of the test.
“It doesn’t make you a bad person or bad wife if you don’t want it,” Evie continued.
“I want it,” I whispered, placing my hand on my still flat stomach. Hearing it out loud, actually thinking of a reality where I did something to the life Ranger and I had created with our love, I was suddenly sickened by the idea.
“Ranger doesn’t?”
I smiled. “No, he does. He’s wanted one since he got the patch. I just, I don’t know if this is the right time. With everything going on.”
I said everything as though I knew what that entailed. I didn’t completely. Ranger didn’t like to bring that shit home, said he didn’t want to pollute our alone time with the worries of the club. The dangers. I knew enough about some of it, though. The guns. The rival clubs. I knew things were tense right now.