Total pages in book: 64
Estimated words: 59607 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 298(@200wpm)___ 238(@250wpm)___ 199(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 59607 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 298(@200wpm)___ 238(@250wpm)___ 199(@300wpm)
“Do you still have it?” I asked.
She nodded. “Oh yeah, still hangs proudly on the fridge where my dad put it. He refuses to let me take it down.”
“Your dad sounds pretty great,” I observed.
She smiled and it reached all the way to her eyes. “He is. Maybe now that he’s feeling so much more like himself, you’d like to come meet him?” she asked, a hint of apprehension in her voice.
The question elated me though. The thought that she wanted me to meet her father set my heart skipping but I tried to play it cool. “Yeah, I think that would be great.”
We continued eating and making small talk over the delicious dinner she’d prepared and I again couldn’t get over how lucky I was that she had stumbled onto my porch in that storm.
She looked up at me and smiled, and I felt a sort of peace drape over the rest of our dinner. The reservations I had earlier this afternoon quickly faded into the background, and in their place was an awe that settled over me. The more I got to know this woman, the more I wanted to learn. There was so much about her that was uncharted and unknown to me, and I wanted to be privy to it all. I wanted to know what made her tick and what made her happy. I wanted to know what made her sad and what made her frightened. I wanted to know what she was like as a little girl and what she wanted to be when she grew old and gray.
But most of all, I wanted her to stick around long enough for me to figure all of it out.
CHAPTER 24
MELANIE
“Why does the shed scare you so much?”
His question caught me off guard and it caused me to drop the chip in my hand.
“Wh-what?” I asked.
“My shed out back. You’re scared of it. Why?”
Evan was looking straight at me while the kids played behind us. Liam was throwing a ball around, knocking things off shelves and running after it down the hallway, and Hadley was in her playpen probably chewing on something fuzzy. My attention was solely on Evan now that the question had been asked.
“I, uh—why—um—”
I had no idea how to answer him. In fact, I’d been completely blindsided. We had a fabulous dinner last night where we got to know one another a little better, and now he was randomly bringing up the shed?
“Look, Melanie. I know you’re scared of it for some reason, and that’s fine, you don’t have to go out there. I just wanted to know why,” he said.
“I don’t know if I want to tell you,” I said, breathlessly, refusing to meet his eyes.
“Why not?” he asked.
“Because it’s—it’s just—personal. Very, very personal.”
“I told you something personal. Things I would never tell anyone else.”
“Well, that was your choice,” I snapped, though I knew he was right and I wasn’t being fair.
“I don’t like letting people in, Melanie. But I enjoyed letting you in. And I know if you let me in the way I could with you, you’d enjoy it, too. Whatever it is you think is going to happen if you tell me, it’s not what you think.”
“Evan, I don’t know if—”
“Let me in, Melanie. Please.”
He reached over and took my hand and, for the first time, I didn’t want his touch. I pulled my hand away and cast my gaze into my lap, feeling panic overtake me for the first time in weeks. I was still afraid that when I told him, he’d look at me with pity and I just couldn’t risk that. Not after how far I’d come with him.
“I just can’t,” I said, whispering.
“Why, Melanie?”
“Because it’s something I still battle with daily. It’s something I always will. And I’m getting better with it. You’re living proof of that, but I’m just still not ready. And I know it’s not fair, but I’m sorry Evan. I just can’t, okay?”
I felt tears cresting the rims of my eyes as I slowly looked up at him. He was studying me.
“Melanie.”
His voice was full of hurt.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“I’ve let you in as far as I can. Farther than any person has ever gotten since I figured out what it meant to be betrayed by people I loved. But I can’t let you in any further unless you reciprocate. It isn’t right. You’re taking care of the kids and practically living with us and, on some level, I know you trust us. I know you know we would never think any differently of you, no matter what has happened. You can’t hide from me if I’m going to be with you. You have to let me in, or this isn’t going to work.”
And there it was. The bargaining with my past to somehow procure a future. It happened every single time. People thought they could use leverage to get into my life. To get me to open up about my past because they somehow thought I needed them. Well, I didn’t need them. I didn’t need Evan and I didn’t need this cabin. I didn’t even need the kids.