Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 98487 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 492(@200wpm)___ 394(@250wpm)___ 328(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98487 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 492(@200wpm)___ 394(@250wpm)___ 328(@300wpm)
They all nod, looking defeated and scared. The team is so young, and honestly, they don’t know better. That’s my job. Fuck.
“No more parties, at least until next semester. We don’t need that reputation. Don’t contact her, or even talk about it, until everything goes through the dean and police.”
They all agree and go back to work like beaten dogs. All with their tails between their legs and worried about their teammate. I am too. Fuck, this is all too much.
I head upstairs, but I don’t sleep. I can’t. My mind is moving a million miles a second, and I’m researching like a crazy person to see what the penalty could be and how we can prove Burnette stopped as soon as she asked him to. Damn it, this is not what I needed to happen as the RA here. I fucked up. I wasn’t here doing my job, and now there will be consequences. Damn it. I was convinced I had such a good group of guys. I’m gone for one night, and bam, a wild party. The only good thing was Callie was here.
Man, my experience with her stays on repeat in my head. I try to read a paragraph, and then the taste of her skin hits me tenfold. It almost calms me down, but then it reminds me I may have fucked that all up. I know I don’t know her that well, but I feel good with her. I feel safe with her, if that makes sense. But if I did know her better, would I be picking apart everything that happened between us? Ugh. This is one of the reasons I didn’t have sex before. It’s complicated, and I didn’t think it through. I listened to my dick instead of my brain.
“Way to go, dick,” I mutter to my manhood as I shower to get ready for my meeting with Coach Jayden. The weird thing is, when I get out of the shower, I’m still clammy. It worries me a bit because I used to get like this before I had to hit the ice for a game. No matter how much I showered, I wouldn’t be able to get rid of that sticky feeling. I feel a bead of sweat along my brow, and that makes me even more nervous. I look at myself in the mirror, and I look stressed. Maybe I should cancel? I can’t, though. I’m already in hot water. I gather myself, practice my breathing exercises and even do some yoga stretches. I wish I had time to run; I know I’d feel better if I ran. Especially if I could run with Callie. I exhale hard and get dressed in my warm-ups for the gymnastics team since they have practice this afternoon.
I don’t know how that’s gonna go, seeing Callie without speaking to her on the phone as a buffer first, but it is what it is. If I’m honest, I have some concerns about it. I can’t deal with those right now, though. I’ve got worse things to face. Once I’m ready, I head out. I notice everyone is up, eating and preparing for practice. I check on Burnette, and he is still freaking out. Apparently his parents are going to drive up from Alabama, which is good for him.
I get in my car and head to the rink. My heart picks up in speed when I enter the parking lot. I don’t know why. I’m not playing. Why do I feel the way I did before I’d hit the ice toward the end of my career? What the fuck is going on? Before entering the arena, I send my therapist a message to see if she has any openings for today. I obviously need to get out all that I’m feeling. A good run and an hour with her will be the key. Maybe I can take Callie to dinner tonight. If she’ll even talk to me. It’s all so much, all of it. Between sex, the new baby, and my boys having parties that lead to sexual harassment charges, I’m hanging on by a thread.
Just as I walk in, my phone dings with a message saying she only has an opening tomorrow morning. Okay. It’s fine. Everything is fine. I’ve got this. I regulate my breathing as I head toward the coach’s office. You have to go through the rink to get to Jayden’s office, and I hate that now when I smell the ice, I feel physically sick. Like I could upchuck right this moment, and I wouldn’t be surprised. I swallow back the bile that wants to escape as I jog toward the office.
Jayden is waiting for me, and even I can’t deny that he looks healthier. Gone is all the pressure to come back to the NHL. Now, he’s a dad and a college hockey coach. In his teal shirt, he smiles at me as I enter. “I still remember when you threw your gloves down and tried to fight me.”