Total pages in book: 145
Estimated words: 148397 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 742(@200wpm)___ 594(@250wpm)___ 495(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 148397 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 742(@200wpm)___ 594(@250wpm)___ 495(@300wpm)
Swallowing hard, I shot him a smile. “I do have something I want to say, and I hope you can accept it. I hope you can accept me because thanks to you, I’m finally ready to admit what I need.”
His eyes narrowed with interest. “Oh? I do love a bit of intrigue in the morning.” Finishing his coffee, he placed it back on the saucer. “Go on then. You should know by now I never judge. I only want you to be happy, Henri.” He reached across the table and patted my shoulder.
It took everything not to cringe but the longer I let this roleplay evolve, the more I shut down the parts of myself full of nervousness and fear.
Victor might be the scariest son of a bitch I’d ever met but…he did have a heart. He might happily carve out the hearts of others and sell them on the black market, but with me…for now…he’d willingly stepped into the role of my mentor. What better way to distract him than to appeal to that mentoring father-figure? After all, I had experience in that. I’d learned how to keep my father happy by doing exactly what he wanted.
“You’re right that I’ve been low the past month. I’ve been in a bit of a black place actually, but…thanks to you pushing me last night, I think I know how to be happy. I’ve fought it for a while, but I’m done. I like what I like. It’s time I start enjoying myself.”
“Ah, I’m so glad.” Victor smiled. “I did wonder if I’d annoyed you last night. I know you probably weren’t ready to fuck another, and it probably made you jealous seeing me fuck yours, but…I admit.” He leaned back and waved a hand in my direction. “You seem different this morning. Calmer.”
Studying Ily out the corner of my eye, I waited for her to react at the mention of her rape.
Would those memories set her back? Hurt her? Rattle her?
She didn’t even flinch.
Two parts of me battled.
The monster who was so in awe of her resilience and rebellion and the man who worried she’d break at any moment.
Breathing deeply, she closed her eyes as if she was meditating.
I still didn’t understand what she meant about not watching when Victor took her but…I’d learned firsthand what sort of power concentration and centring could do.
Looking away from her was a struggle but I forced myself to grin. “You showed me, once and for all, what I need to get off. You asked what I talk about when I’m in the midst of a fuck with Ily? I told you at the start of our friendship and I’ll tell you again.” Leaning forward, I linked my fingers on the table. “I tell her what I want to do to her. Last night, I told her in explicit detail what I plan on doing when we visit the snuffbox this afternoon. Words have power. They can deliver tomorrow’s fear and yesterday’s pain. A simple reminder or a cruel promise can burrow its way into someone’s psyche so deeply that by the time you come to do the act, they’re already broken.”
Victor shivered as if I’d actually touched a nerve. “You truly could be remarkable if you let yourself go, Mercer.” Holding out his arm, he shoved up his cable knit jumper. “See? Chills. You just gave me chills.” He grinned. “I love it.” Dropping his hand, he nodded. “Fine. Talk away to your jewel. Who am I to say what fetishes are better than others.”
“Thanks.” Bending down, I pulled the black and silver bag from the floor and dumped it on the table. “You ask me what fascinates me so much about Ilyana? I’ll tell you. It’s her strength. I tell her what I plan on doing to her and instead of cowering and spoiling all the fun, she stands up to me. You see that as a flaw in her obedience, but I see it as a motherfucking aphrodisiac.”
Victor curled his upper lip. “You enjoy it when she fights back.”
“I do.” I let the truth of that darken my voice. “Like I said, you see bad behaviour and something to be beaten, I see it as a red flag to give in.”
“Yes, I’m beginning to realise that. I, too, enjoy the journey from unruly to ruled but…surely you don’t want her to stay that way forever? There’s just so much enjoyment in knowing you’re the one to silence them. You’re the one to mould them. If she never learns to submit, then where is the peace for you? You’ll never have the joy of a jewel who obeys your every whim, no matter how dark or painful. You’ll have a war on your hands every time.”
“It’s that war that turns me on.”
“Yes but—”
“I need her to fight with me, Vic. Always. You saw how I reacted when she kicked me in the nose the night I snapped. I couldn’t help it. Give me a woman who screams and tells me to fuck myself and I can’t stop what I do in response. Give me a girl who just bends over and takes it? Well....” I splayed my hands. “You get what happened last night. A cock that won’t work and the administering of a blue pill that’s just plain embarrassing.”