Total pages in book: 145
Estimated words: 142728 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 714(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 142728 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 714(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
I stare out into the distance, making out the shapes of several buildings. “You can see Empire from here.”
“I always liked this view.” He lifts his chin toward another area of the park straight ahead. “Friends of mine got married over at the gazebo area. And my niece and Vapor got married up here too.”
Why does my heart kick up a little tap dance the second Dex mentions weddings? Is it the affectionate, respectful way he talks about his friends and family? Or is it the sudden vision I have of meeting him in front of a judge while I’m decked out in a white dress?
And maybe hoping he’s having a similar thought?
Am I out of my mind? I haven’t contemplated getting married since I was eight years old and spent an afternoon in my mom’s closet trying on her wedding dress and veil.
Dex gives mind-blowing orgasms and cooks me breakfast one day and suddenly I’m picturing committing the rest of my life to him?
“It’s a beautiful place to have a wedding.” Oh great, now he’s going to think I’m throwing out a hint. “I have a friend who got married over by the waterfalls on the other side of the park,” I hurry to add.
“I think I know the spot you’re talking about.”
“Do you, um, ever want to get married…again?” I blurt before my brain can put a stop to my bumbling question. Why, why, why did I ask him that? He’s never even told me how his wife died.
His hand tightens around mine. I don’t dare turn my head to check out his expression.
Casual. Easy breezy. Just act casual.
“I don’t have anything against marriage,” he finally answers.
He doesn’t ask me a similar question.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Dex
Do I want to get married again?
I haven’t given it a lot of thought since my wife died. I had my chance. I blew it. End of story.
I don’t deserve another shot. The only person I’m responsible for now is myself. Well, that’s not true. The club’s my family. I’ll protect my brothers with my life. But that’s not the same responsibility as being a husband or a father.
Maybe I need to end this now. Before my stupid ass gets any ideas that I deserve to have a future with this woman.
And yet, I can’t even let go of her hand.
If I allowed myself to go there again—promise to love, honor, and protect Emily for the rest of my days—and then somehow lost her…I couldn’t live with myself.
Besides, Emily comes with her own obligations. I can’t be responsible for protecting her and Libby.
Who are you kidding? You were ready to drop Libby off at school and hand her lunch money a few hours ago.
My mind’s screaming at me to come up with another topic—anything will do—quickly.
“The view is so pretty, you almost forget how dangerous it is to get too close to the cliff,” Emily says.
If that isn’t the best metaphor for my life right now.
“Those warning signs have been up here for as long as I can remember,” I say. “But I think at least one or two people go over the side every year.”
We continue to where the sidewalk ends. A dirt path follows the edge of the woods, leading to another section of the park. “Do you want to keep going?” I ask.
“No, this is good.” She turns and pulls out her phone, taking a few photos.
“Can I take one of you?” I ask, holding up my own phone.
“Can we take one together?” she counters.
“Sure.” To fit both of us in the picture, I hold the phone out a good distance.
“Those big strong arms make a handy tripod,” she mutters.
I crack up right as I hit the button.
“My eyes are closed,” I say. “Let me take another one.”
“I like that one, though. Keep it,” she says.
I’m not sure what she likes about it. I look like an idiot. She’s adorable, though. Half smiling up at me, like it brings her joy that she can make me laugh.
I take another. Then lean in and kiss her cheek. “Good?”
“Aw, you caught that one too.” She points to my screen. “Will you send those to me?”
“You want the one with the doofy guy who has his eyes closed?” I tease.
“Hey.” She curls her fingers in my shirt and tugs. “My guy is fine as hell.”
The thrill of satisfaction burns through my veins. I love that she thinks so. She’s the only woman whose opinion has mattered to me in a long damn time.
I lean down and kiss her. “The feeling’s mutual.”
She stares up at me in this sweet, honest way that burrows into my chest. “I’m really glad you called in sick.”
A faint smile ghosts over her lips. “Me too.” She tugs on my hand. “Can we sit and admire the view for a minute?”
We don’t go far. She climbs up onto the highest part of the stone wall overlooking the entire valley below and sits down. I sit right next to her, sliding my arm around her waist to keep her secure.