Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 100628 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 503(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 335(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100628 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 503(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 335(@300wpm)
“Because my parents did it,” I barked, starting to panic. I knew I hadn’t fucked up, I’d only asked a question, but it sure felt like I’d fucked up somewhere.
“What do you mean your parents did it? What are you even talking about?”
“Okay, listen,” I said, deliberately lowering my voice to try and defuse the situation. Jesus, this was not at all how I’d pictured having this conversation. “My parents got married so that my mom wouldn’t have to testify against him in court.”
“What the hell did he do?”
I just looked at her.
“Right, not supposed to ask.”
“I don’t even know,” I said with a shrug. “I just know that’s why they got married.”
“Seems like a really fucked up reason,” she mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.
“It worked out pretty fuckin’ well,” I pointed out. “They’ve been together for almost thirty years.”
“They’re the exception, not the rule,” she replied slowly. “You realize that, right?”
“I know that,” I said, taking off my seat belt so I could face her fully. “But I also know that I love you a hell of a lot more than my dad loved my mom back then.”
“I’m not even sure how you’d measure that,” she shot back in exasperation.
“Oh, I don’t know,” I bit out. “Maybe because even if Bird wasn’t at stake, I’d still want to fuckin’ marry you?”
“Why?” she snapped, taking off her own seat belt. “Because you were afraid I was going to die? Because you feel guilty about something you had no control over? What changed your mind so drastically that you’d want to marry me all of a sudden?”
She was so angry she was practically spitting, and I was getting nowhere. Anger had been another one of those reactions I hadn’t planned for.
“Do you not love me anymore?” I asked, the words like broken glass in my mouth.
“Why would you even say that?”
“I don’t know.” I shook my head, frustrated with how our conversation was going. “I just—I thought that you wanted to be with me. You know, before you said that, you did.”
“Before,” she replied quietly. “When you didn’t?”
“I feel like we’re talkin’ in circles.”
“Maybe because what you’re asking me doesn’t make any fucking sense.”
Her hair was messy, and her face was almost completely healed, and she was wearing one of my old T-shirts that had the sleeves cut off and a ratty old pair of running shorts, and she’d slid her feet out of her sandals so she could sit cross-legged on the seat and I was so fucking in love with her that I could barely see straight. Everything was screwed up. Samson was gone, and Ash was going to prison, and Bird was being fought over because Nova’s absentee parent wanted to be an asshole, and I looked at her, and she was the only fucking thing that made any sense.
“Have I ever lied to you?” I asked softly, looking into her eyes. “Ever?”
“No.” She crossed her arms over her chest and looked nervously out the window before her gaze came back to me.
“Why would you think I’m lyin’ now?”
“Because people don’t just wake up one day and decide that they suddenly want to spend their life with someone.”
“How do you think it happens then?”
“I think you date, and you get to know a person, and you finally decide that they’re your person.”
“What do you think we’ve been doin’ our entire lives?”
“Not dating.”
I huffed out a surprised laugh. “Sugar, I’ve spent more time with you than if I counted every date I’ve ever had and added them together.”
“And you keep calling me sugar,” she burst out.
“I do?”
“Yes,” she hissed, leaning toward me. “And I know that’s what your dad calls your mom, and your grandpa calls your grandma!”
“So?”
“So, that means something.”
“That’s what I’ve been tryin’ to say!” I smacked my head against the headrest in frustration. “For fuck’s sake, Nova, you’re gonna make my head explode.”
“You never called me that before!”
“That’s because I was a fuckin’ idiot,” I yelled at the roof of the truck.
“Well, I’m not arguing with that.”
“Do you love me?” I asked, glaring at her.
“Stop asking me that.”
“Answer the goddamn question.”
“Of course I love you,” she practically growled.
“Are you in love with me? Want to wake up beside me and have my babies and wipe my ass when I’m old?”
“I’m never wiping your ass.”
“Nova!”
“Yes, I’m in love with you,” she shouted back, throwing her hands in the air. “I’ve been in love with you forever!”
“Good.”
“Are you in love with me?” she shot back sarcastically.
“That’s what I’ve been tellin’ you for the last fifteen fuckin’ minutes!”
Nova’s mouth snapped shut with an audible click.
“Why the fuck are we havin’ this conversation when I’m not even touchin’ you?” I asked in frustration, throwing open my door.
I stomped around the hood of the truck and pulled her door open, reaching inside to slide her toward me.