Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 84075 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84075 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
“I left the family. I have nowhere else to go.”
“Bullshit. You’re still filthy rich. You could go live in a dozen places right now if you wanted, but you’re here for a reason. You still care about her and you need to do something about it. Admit it, Ford.”
“Fuck you.”
“Admit it, you stubborn asshole.”
“Okay, I fucking love her,” I say on the edge of shouting. “Does that make you feel better? Do you want me to keep debasing myself? I love her, god damn it, and there’s nothing I can fucking do about it.”
Brice comes out of the dining room. She’s smiling sadly at me and leans against Carmine’s shoulder. “You love her,” she says. “That’s all you need to know, isn’t it? You love her.”
I step back, breathing hard. I throw my drink down my throat and slam the glass onto the counter. It cracks but doesn’t break, and I let it go with a rough grunt.
I love her. I love Katherine. I’ve loved Kat for a while now, maybe since I first saw her, definitely since I first kissed her. I love her in a way I’ve never loved another person before and now that she’s gone, it’s like losing a piece of me and I don’t know how to get it back.
But Carmine’s right. Brice is right. I love her and that’s all that matters.
“What am I supposed to do?” I ask them and hate myself for the pathetic pain in my tone.
“I don’t know,” Brice admits and Carmine only shakes his head. “But you have to figure it out, right? You have to make her understand.”
“Make her understand.” I turn away from them toward the windows. Kat’s in every inch of this place, in every corner. Memories of her haunt me. Of kissing her, laughing with her. Taking her body on every surface of his place. Fuck, I miss her.
But there has to be a way.
I could stay in this apartment forever and let the guilt and self-loathing chew me down to the bone. I could let myself rot and decay until I’m nothing. I could go crawling back to Grandpop and hope Riley lets me back into the family. I could do a thousand things—but all I want is her.
“I think I have an idea,” I say and take a deep breath as I find my resolve again. “But I don’t know if it’ll work.”
“You have to try,” Brice says. “That’s all you can do.”
I nod to myself. I have to try, and maybe she’ll understand, or maybe she won’t, but I have to try.
Chapter 26
Kat
Grandfather’s office is too warm. I sink into the chair and wish I could keep on going, down through the floor, down into the earth, down where it’s quiet, and I don’t have to keep going through the motions of my embarrassing and painful life. He comes around his desk and puts his hand on my shoulder and smiles like a predator grinning at his next meal.
“I’m glad you came home,” he says. “You made the right choice.”
“I’m worried about Mom,” I say. “She sounded bad when she called.”
“Your mother will be fine. She’s a survivor.” Grandfather walks back behind his desk and stands there facing me with his hands behind his back. “But you and I have to have a discussion before this goes any further.”
This is what I was waiting for. When Grandfather said he was willing to discuss my place in the family again, I knew this was coming, and I showed up anyway.
Tina tried to talk me out of it. She almost succeeded. But the memory of Mom’s voice on the phone made me get up and go crawling back to Grandfather because he’s the only person in the world that can help Mom now. And what would I be if I let my own selfishness get in the way of Mom’s safety? I can’t live with myself if I turn my back on my own mother, no matter how bad things get.
“You will marry a man of my choosing,” Grandfather says, chin tilted up, staring down at me like I’m an ant on the road. “No more lists. No more choice. I will inform you of your new husband, and you will walk down the aisle without a single complaint. Do you understand?”
I look away from him, down at my hands. I curl them together in my lap and nod once. “Yes, Grandfather.”
“Good. If you’re capable of doing that without embarrassing me further, I will consider helping your mother.” He pauses and lets out a sigh. “Did she call for money again?”
“I think she owes her dealer.”
“Your mother is resourceful. She’ll survive until you’re married.”
“I don’t know.” I look up and try to tap into the well of confidence I found when I was with Ford but it feels like that well is dry now. “She sounded worse than usual, Grandfather. I’m really worried.”