Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 92368 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 369(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92368 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 369(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
I have this feeling…like dread. I’ve been trying to ignore it along with the voice in my head that keeps saying he’s recently been pulling away from me.
But this is us.
Zeus and I are solid. We’re the real deal.
I’ve loved the guy since I was fifteen years old.
It’s just the long-distance thing. It’s rough. But it’ll get better. It has to.
I’ve just closed my eyes when my cell starts to ring.
My eyes flash open, and I grab my cell. My heart rate spikes at the sight of Zeus’s name on the caller display. Even now, after all these years, he still has that effect on me. I hope it lasts forever.
I connect the call. “Hey, handsome.” A yawn escapes me, and I cover my mouth with my hand.
“Are you in bed?” Zeus’s voice rumbles down the line.
“Yeah, but it’s fine.”
“I can call you tomorrow if that would be better.”
“Zeus, I haven’t talked to you in days. Now is better.”
“Okay,” he says.
“So, how’s training going?” I ask.
“Good. Look, Cam…”
He called me Cam. He rarely calls me Cam. Only when he’s pissed at me or he has something to tell me that I’m not going to like.
“Are you gonna be in England for longer than expected?”
“No, it’s not that.”
“Then, what?”
His silence down the line worries my insides.
“Zeus, what’s going on?” I swallow nervously.
He clears his throat. “I’ve been thinking…and…well…I think we should spend some time apart.”
“Spend time apart?” I echo.
“Yes.”
I start to worry my bottom lip with my teeth. “I don’t understand.”
“Space, Cam,” he snaps. “I need space.”
My stomach bottoms out, and panic clutches at my throat. “But I hardly ever see you.”
“Exactly. I just think it would be better for us if we took a break.”
A break.
I’ve seen Friends. “The One Where Ross and Rachel Take a Break.” Ross screwed the copy machine girl in that episode.
I don’t want to take a break.
And the fact that he does is scaring the shit out of me.
“Zeus, are you…” I swallow what feels like a brick down my throat. “Are you breaking up with me?”
The silence that follows is agony.
“Yes.”
And the agony turns into a pain, the likes of which I’ve never known. I feel like my heart is being ripped in two.
Tears flood my eyes. I press the phone harder against my ear, needing to feel something, anything, but this agony he’s inflicting on me.
“Zeus, please…don’t do this. I know the long-distance thing has been hard—”
“We’ve seen each other three times in the last six months.”
“We saw each other last week!” I sob.
“For one night. That’s not a relationship.”
“Jesus, Zeus. Don’t do this. Please. I love you.” My pride has gone out the window.
This is Zeus. I’d do anything to keep him with me. He’s the love of my life. The only guy I’ve ever been with. A life without him just doesn’t seem feasible. In my mind, I’ve shaped my whole future around him.
Every single memory I’ve planned on making has him in it, and now, he’s telling me that he doesn’t want to be a part of that anymore.
He doesn’t want me anymore.
I can’t breathe. I feel like there’s a hand around my throat, choking me. His hand.
“Please, Zeus. We can make it work. I’ll fly out to England on the next flight. I’ve got some money on my credit card. We can talk and—”
“I don’t want you to come.”
It’s like he stuck a blade in my gut.
“You just want to throw the last four years away like they don’t matter?” I whisper, brushing tears from my cheeks.
Silence.
The only thing I can hear is his breathing down the phone.
“I’m not in love with you anymore, Cam. I’m sorry.”
The blade pulls out of my gut and sinks in my heart.
Don’t be sorry, I want to scream. Just fucking love me.
I start to choke on my tears. “You don’t mean that. We’ve just spent so much time apart that you’ve forgotten how good we are together. I’m gonna leave Juilliard and come to you—”
“No,” he says firmly.
I ignore him. I can’t hear him. I don’t want to hear him.
“We can spend some time together, and we’ll be okay. You’ll see me and remember that you love me and—”
“I slept with someone else.”
If I thought hearing the other things hurt me, then I had no clue what real pain was.
I’ve never felt anything like what I’m feeling now. It’s like my heart turned into glass, and he just punched his fist through my chest, shattering it into a million pieces.
I go still. Numb. The tears falling down my cheeks are the only things I can feel.
“Cam…”
I disconnect the call and throw my cell at the wall. I hear it shatter, like my heart just did.
I stare into the darkness as fresh tears run down my face, dripping onto my nightshirt.
Zeus’s shirt. One of his old T-shirts that I stole to wear to bed.