Total pages in book: 36
Estimated words: 34054 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 170(@200wpm)___ 136(@250wpm)___ 114(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 34054 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 170(@200wpm)___ 136(@250wpm)___ 114(@300wpm)
The pathetic boy who longed for a girl he had no right to still lives in my heart, an open wound that grows and festers.
Cain flips me away from the window and Billie Richmond. He doesn’t say anything; he grabs my arm and pulls me to the back bedroom, slamming and locking the door with an audible click.
I grip the hem of my shirt and pull it over my head. My disturbing skin is on display to the only person I trust with my scars. The other half of my mangled heart. Cain's gaze drinks me in. A silent secret flows between us like an invisible tether connecting us. If it weren’t for Cain, my life would have veered off the rails a long time ago. I would’ve ended up dead, a junkie with a needle sticking out of my arm. Cain and I raised each other, loved each other, and created everything we have. Together.
“You want me to get one of those girls?” Cain asks. “The brunette sitting at the front has the same hair. She’s a little skinny, but there’s only one Billie Richmond.”
I shake my head. Cain and I haven’t fucked another woman since Billie. We came close with women who resembled her. Those with similar features and body type—even those who sounded like her. But an imitation was never as good as the real thing. None of them were good enough. They all lacked something because they weren’t her. We could never bring ourselves to share another girl. So we satisfied ourselves with each other and dreamed of Billie.
“Just us,” I finally reply.
Cain steps toward me, and his hand circles my neck. I close my eyes at the sensation. Numbness falls over me, and the taunting voices in my head quiet. My past and present melt away, and I don’t think about the future. All that matters is Cain and the sheer force of my desire for him.
He pulls me to him by my neck. “You fucked up tonight, Lars. You went up there and did whatever the fuck you wanted and didn’t think about how it would affect me.”
He’s right. I didn’t pause for a second to contemplate the ripple effect my minor revelation would have on him or anyone else in the band. At that moment, I only thought about Billie. I wanted to hurt her. I wanted to kiss her brutally until her lips were battered and bruised. Leave my mark on her the way she left hers on my heart.
I try to speak, but Cain’s grip on my throat makes it impossible to utter a word. I gaze at his blue irises, darker now than they were earlier. It happens when he’s angry or horny. Right now, he’s probably both. I know he was affected by Billie as much as I was, but unlike me, Cain can compartmentalize. He can put Billie in one section of his brain while focusing on the others. I’m not built like that. My emotions all blend, vibrant colors mixing continuously until they become a muddy brown. That’s why I’m a mess in every single way.
Cain steps closer, pushing me until my back hits the wall and covering me with his body like a blanket. “You’ve always been impulsive, Lars. Making rash choices, not taking a moment to process your emotions.” He uses his hold on my neck to push me down until I’m on my knees in front of him. His other hand works at his buckle before swiftly removing it from the loops of his black jeans. “You know what to do.”
I unsnap the button of his denims and lower the zipper before pulling his pants to his ankles. Cain’s hard, large cock bounces in front of my face.
His grip on my throat remains, while he tugs my head back with his other hand until I’m gazing up at him. “I’m going to choke you for what you did today, Lars. Make you my little bitch until you beg me to stop. But I won’t stop.”
My throbbing cock tells me I want every second of the humiliation Cain will provide. In life, I’m the leader. The one who calls all the shots. The boss. But it weighs on me until I think I’ll drown from the pressure. The only time I’m free, when life is easy, is when I’m serving Cain.
It doesn’t mean he won’t let me top; he does. I fucked him tonight, right on stage. It was with a condom, so not the same, but cleaning up during a performance is a pain in the fucking ass. Cain lets me take control on certain occasions, but the brunt of our dynamic is this: Cain is the master, and I’m nothing more than his servant.
4
Cain
I still remember the first time Lars came to heel. The rush it gave me to have a guy so strong and authoritative bend to my will. I’d never had that before. My entire existence involved being used as a punching bag. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally. I was too big for anyone to risk hitting me. Six foot eight at the ripe old age of sixteen was intimidating.