Total pages in book: 151
Estimated words: 147649 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 738(@200wpm)___ 591(@250wpm)___ 492(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 147649 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 738(@200wpm)___ 591(@250wpm)___ 492(@300wpm)
“‘A who, a what, a where, a when.’” I repeat the last line, suddenly getting a sinking feeling.
“Yep.” Pie throws up her arms. “We could be anywhere.” She looks around and huffs. “And no doors in sight. Now what?”
“Well.” I hook her around the waist with my arms and pull her close. “I can’t hear the song, so the devil’s not following us. And… are we in a hurry?”
“Are we in a hurry? I dunno, Pell. Saint Mark’s is crumbling, Tomas is hatching dragons, the monsters want to kill you for killing Frecks—”
I point at her. “I didn’t kill Frecks. It was just an accident.”
“Does it matter? They are pissed at you. Meanwhile, the cupid devil is making me swoon like an idiot, I’ve locked up my sister and Tarq’s woman in a debtors’ prison, and my BFF—my only F on the outside, in fact—has stolen a bunch of throwaway kids and is now missing or being held prisoner by the swoony eros asshole. Who, by the way, was the one who kidnapped me when I was six and then walked out and left me with Lisa”—she sneers this name—“my not-mother. Because I…” She throws up her hands. “I dunno. I didn’t have what they needed, or couldn’t be used the way they wanted me to.” A long, tired exhale follows after these words. She blows out a breath, making her bangs fly up. “And you know what pisses me off the most?”
“Tell me.”
“My name.”
“What?” I grin and hug her close. “What’s wrong with your name? I love your name.”
“I know. I love it too. But it’s not my name. All this time I have been Pie. Cute. Whimsical. Eccentric. And now I find out that my real name is Pianna. Pianna, Pell? That’s—”
“Not bad,” I say. She shoots me an incredulous look. “What? It’s really not.”
“It’s gross. And not at all whimsical. I’m not even me anymore. I have no idea who I am.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Me, Pell. All these years I have been Pie. Weird Pie with the talking bird. And now look at me!” She throws up her arms. “Pianna. With no bird. I’m just… normal. Worse than normal. I’m boring.”
“Boring?” Now it’s my turn to be incredulous. “Pie. Please.”
“And here’s the funny part. Ironic, actually. It’s always ironic. But this is what I wanted, remember? I wanted to be normal. I wanted a boring life. And now look, here I am. And—”
I put my hand over her mouth. She struggles, pushing it off, and then sputters out, “What the hell was that for?”
“You need to stop talking and take a look at yourself.”
“What?”
I take her hand, then take a step backwards, like I’m appraising her. “Pie. Please. You’re the most gorgeous wood nymph chimera I’ve ever laid eyes on. Your fur is so soft and your horns are sleek and slim. Don’t even get me started on your ass and your legs. You’re like something out of a fuckin’ book. Some fairytale creature.”
“This is not even me!”
“What do you mean?”
Now she just deflates. At first, I think she’s being dramatic but then she covers her face with her hands and falls to her knees in a bed of soft ferns.
I kneel down next to her. “What’s wrong? I don’t understand what’s happening here.”
She removes one hand from her face and looks at me with a single teary eye. “I’m not a wood nymph chimera, Pell.”
“Of course you are. Look at you.”
“No. You don’t understand. I don’t know what this is, but this is not what I looked like back where… wherever I’m from.”
“So you’re human.”
“No, Pell. I’m not a human, either. I’m fucking gryphon!”
“But what’s so bad about that? I’m sure I’ll love you just as much in your royal gryphon form as I do your sexy wood nymph form.”
“No. You don’t get it.”
“Then tell me.”
She sighs, then shakes her head a little. I’m patient. I give her time. But the moment stretches on and I get a sick feeling in my stomach. I’m just about to prod her along when she finally spits it out. “I was promised to Tarq, Pell.”
I know this. He kind of told me this before I made him king. But… “It’s not like that, Pie.”
“Isn’t it?”
“He’s not going to make you marry him and have his child.”
“Isn’t he?”
“He’s not. And if he tried, I’d kill him. That would be the end of it. I’d just kill him.”
“Kill the king, Pell?”
“He’s not my king.”
“You made him king. You spelled him into that position. And by the way, that spelling? It’s… wrong.”
“What do you mean?”
“All the syllables were off.”
I’m confused. I didn’t actually make that spelling up, it just floated out. Kind of like the way Pie’s spells have been materializing on a whim.
“’I take the power of this ring. My best friend Tarq is now the king?’” She narrows her eyes at me. “It’s wrong. And what ring? Did you give him a ring?”