Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 78566 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 393(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78566 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 393(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
“That sink is almost big enough to bathe in,” Billie declared, looking at the farmhouse-style deep porcelain sink. “Here we go,” she said, helping to lower me down on the sectional that faced the stone fireplace. “Do you want any pillows for propping?” she asked.
“I think I’m alright. It’s easing up now that I’m off my feet.”
“Good. Alright. I will go take the trash out,” she said, turning to walk away.
“No. You don’t need to do that.”
“Well, you could try again. See if you can screw up your back for the rest of your life. Or, option two, we can just leave it there to attract the bears. Or, option three, for the less stubborn-ass sorts of men… we can let me do it.”
“I guess we have to go with option three,” I said, shrugging. “Thank you,” I added as she made her way back outside. “What’s up, man?” I asked as Tommy came in to sit and stare at me. “You need my gratitude?” I asked, reaching out to pat his dinner plate sized head. “Thank you. You’re a good dog.”
“He is,” Billie agreed, coming back in with Chuckie at her heels. “He must have heard you because he head-butted me so hard I fell out of my asana, and then kept nudging me until I got up to follow him. He cried the whole way over.”
“Malc doesn’t know how often they come to visit me when they roam. They can smell it when I grill, and make a beeline for my property to ask to be invited for dinner.”
“You better let them stay for dinner,” she said, tone something like a warning, like she’d have consequences for me if I didn’t tell her I did.
“Of course they stay for dinner. Sometimes, they eat all of dinner,” I added, looking at the size of the mastiffs.
“They can’t help it. They’re the biggest boys,” she said, adopting a cute-animal-voice as she rubbed Chuckie’s head with both hands, making his jowls move up and down. “Isn’t that right? It’s not your fault you have big bellies that need big dinners, is it? What?” she asked, looking up to find my gaze on her.
“I guess I didn’t peg you as an animal person,” I said.
“What? Of course I’m an animal person. Why do you think I don’t eat them?”
“I dunno. Figured it was a health thing.”
“I mean, sure. But no. It was a moral thing back when I was a teen and saw a documentary about factory farms. I love animals. I just couldn’t find an apartment that would let me have one that was over fifty pounds. And while little dogs are cute and all, I want a big hunk of a dog to cuddle up with at night,” she said, leaning down to kiss Chuckie’s head.
He was eating the attention up.
I couldn’t blame him.
“I actually might be just as bad as my Aunt Andi about wanting animals. It’s why I never go anywhere near a pet store on the weekends when they do the adoption drives. I would be too tempted to get one and dress it up as a human being or something,” she said with a smile, rolling her eyes at herself. “Do you have your phone?”
“Yeah, why?” I asked, reaching for it, only to have her snatch it out of my hand. “Hey,” I objected, trying to take it back.
“What? Have a bunch of pictures of your junk on here?” she asked, shaking her head. “I need to call Malc, so he doesn’t worry,” she told me, finding his number, and putting my phone to her ear as she walked away from me.
“Hey, Big Guy. I didn’t want you to worry. The hounds must have heard Rowe trying to be a stubborn-ass who doesn’t need any help. He hurt his back taking out the trash. I know! I know. That’s what I said. Anyway, I got him inside and he’s resting. I am going to finish helping him clean out his kitchen. No, no it’s fine. Spend some time with your girl. Hold on, I’ll ask,” she said, leaning over the island to catch my eye. “Malc wants to know if you’re armed.”
“Always.”
“He says he is. And we have the savage beasts with us as well,” she said, even though one of the savage beasts had weaseled his way up onto the couch, doing it slowly as if I wouldn’t notice if he did it at a glacial pace. The other was eating one of my shoes. They looked real ferocious, let me tell you. “Okay. Will do. Absolutely.”
“Malc said to tell you to stop being an idiot,” she told me, holding out my phone. “I am going to go scrub your fridge.”
“What? No.”
“Do you really think you would be able to stop me in your current state?” she asked, lips twitching before she turned and made her way back toward the kitchen.