Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 82143 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82143 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
It was a vibrator.
12
Parker
The mountains really were gorgeous. Most of the time when I was on the balcony, I stared at nothing in particular, but Kylie talked about the view so much that I’d begun noticing it more. There was a sort of comfort to it. The Rockies had been here for thousands of years and they’d be here for thousands more. Long after my fucked-up life was no longer even a speck in the rear-view mirror.
I had a textbook next to me on the table, but I didn’t open it. I wasn’t actually sure I’d opened it at all this semester. Curious, I picked up the heavy book. The spine wasn’t even cracked.
That wasn’t good.
For the millionth time, I vowed to pay more attention in classes. To make an effort instead of just coasting. And to do something with my cohort of first-year students, which Kylie was a part of. She’d told me the other day that there were some questions for me in the group chat, but I hadn’t even looked.
Six months ago, I’d been in love. Happy. Certain of my future. Researching diamond rings. Now I was barely a person.
Damn you, Aubrey.
We’d been happy. I knew we were. But when she left, that certainty left, too. Maybe it was all in my head. Maybe I’d only thought we had it all.
And now I had nothing.
My muscles were stiff as I pushed up from my chair. I took one last look at the mountains before heading in. Once I stepped inside, I realized my textbook was still out there, but I didn’t care. Maybe if it got rained on, it wouldn’t look so damn new anymore.
The others were seated in the living area and appeared to be arguing about something. I drifted past them to use the restroom, and when I reemerged, they were still at it.
“I just can’t,” Kylie said.
“Why not? We do.” That was from Mason, who was wearing only shorts. He was taking up half a sofa with his legs sprawled in front of him. Why did he always look like he didn’t have a single care in the world?
“It’s too embarrassing. It would be loud. You’d hear it,” Kylie said. I had no clue what she was talking about, but she sounded sure of her reasoning.
“You hear us all the time,” Jude said.
“And it sure as hell sounded like you were enjoying it the other night,” Mason added.
Kylie’s pretty face flushed. She was sitting across from Mason with Jude next to her. Her long, tan legs were folded up underneath her. She pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them, but then she spotted me. Quickly, she put her legs down.
Great. Now my misery was so damn potent that it was making other people miserable, too. Or at least it stopped them from being themselves out of fear it might make me sadder.
I bypassed them and got some water from the fridge. I thought about going back out on the balcony, but even I recognized that all the time I spent out there, brooding and alone, wasn’t helping me. So instead, I decided to go sit with the others and try to figure out what the hell they were debating.
“I appreciate the gift, but I just can’t. Not while you guys are in there,” Kylie said.
Jude picked up on that. “But maybe some time when we’re not? Like if you have the place to yourself?”
“Yeah, maybe,” she said.
“Well, that’s something.”
“No, it’s not,” Mason argued. “You’re making this into some big shameful thing, and it’s not. Or at least it shouldn’t be.”
“I’m not ashamed,” Kylie said. “Just… self-conscious.”
“We aren’t,” Mason said.
Kylie rolled her eyes. “Such a shock. I doubt you’ve ever been self-conscious a single moment in your life.”
Mason shrugged, conceding the point. I still didn’t know what we were discussing, but I had to agree with Kylie on that assessment.
“It’s not shameful,” Jude chimed in. “It’s normal. It’s healthy. It makes you feel better. Relieves stress. Helps you sleep.”
“I get enough sleep, thank you,” Kyle retorted. “If anyone needs sleep, it’s—” She broke off, and her eyes met mine.
A moment later, they were all looking at me. What the hell?
“I’ll do it if Parker does it,” Kylie said suddenly. Wait, if I do what now?
Mason looked amused. “We didn’t get him a pretty pink vibrator, only you.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’ll only use it at night in the bedroom if Parker touches himself, too.”
Had I really just heard that very strange sentence? I was aware, in a peripheral way, that the subject had come up quite a bit lately. The three of them had brokered some kind of agreement so that Kylie wouldn’t feel strange if Jude and Mason took care of business before they fell asleep. But that was between them. “Leave me out of this.”