Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 93713 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 469(@200wpm)___ 375(@250wpm)___ 312(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 93713 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 469(@200wpm)___ 375(@250wpm)___ 312(@300wpm)
“You mad about the new assignment?” Harley studied me carefully. Too carefully. He’d obviously talked to Duncan.
“Nah. A job’s a job, and Colorado might be cool.” I tried for a cheery tone, but apparently, I was no better at convincing Harley than I was my mom, and he gave a similar headshake and frown.
“You can say no. I’m sure we could find you something else. Maybe not right away, but—”
No way did I want special treatment. “I’m fine. Just tired today. But I’ll do fine in Colorado. You can count on me, Chief.”
“Sleeping okay?” Harley’s eyes narrowed, craggy features pinching. “Late night? Or something else?”
“Late night.” That, at least, was some of the truth, and maybe it would hold Harley off. Ordinarily, I’d appreciate his concern, and he was the guy who’d helped me find my present therapist and navigate the maze of VA services for meds. “Overall, I’m sleeping better. The meds help.”
“And counseling?” He leaned forward like he’d be able to tell if I lied. “You’re keeping up with that?”
“Yeah. And we mainly do virtual sessions anyway, so no issues with the new assignment. My…reluctance didn’t have to do with my PTSD.” Might as well cop to some attitude. He’d clearly spoken with Duncan. Pretending otherwise would be a waste of both our time. “It’s more that I’m not sure it’s truly a two-man job.”
“Because you have an issue with Haskins or because…”
“Because I don’t need a keeper.” I finally let some of my frustration out. I could be honest with Harley in a way I couldn’t with Duncan, who, despite being fairly close to my age, always felt like a superior officer. “Feels like Duncan doesn’t trust me to handle it on my own.”
“The LT trusts you fine. Hell, maybe it’s Haskins who needs watching.” Harley shrugged, broad shoulders rolling. That wasn’t outside the realm of possibility either. Avery was rather young and green, but I still wasn’t happy.
“Ha. I’m not a babysitter either. Why stick me with—”
“Stick you with?”
Fuck my life and my big mouth. Avery appeared behind Harley, scowl firmly in place. “Nice. Tell us what you really think.”
A pained noise escaped my throat. “Avery.”
“Whatever. Just grabbing my soda from when I sat here earlier.” He picked up a can from the edge of the desk. “Wouldn’t want to stick you with my presence.”
He stomped off before I could say anything else, and I stared helplessly at Harley, who was looking on with undisguised curiosity. We’d undoubtedly be the talk of the office gossip loop before the hour was up.
“I…I should probably go after him.” I stood, painfully aware that chasing after Avery would only give the gossip more traction, but I also couldn’t shake the hurt that had creased his face. I needed to make this right.
“Probably.” Harley nodded sagely. “And, Malik? Remember, I’m always here to listen, and not only about the PTSD stuff.”
“Thanks. Appreciate it.”
Taking off at a fast walk, I tracked Avery to the back hall by the ancient copier, stacks of gear, and an open box of black A-List shirts.
“Avery! Wait up!”
He whirled around near the emergency exit door. “What now? I told you earlier I’m cool. And you’ve made your true feelings known, so, like, we’re square now.”
“We are not.” I approached him before he could slide through the door. “And you are so not cool with last night. I’m not an idiot.”
“Okay, maybe not cool, but I’m also not blaming you like you were worried. I’m the one who took things too far, liked it too much.”
I blinked. “How do you like hanging out and making out too much?”
“People like all sorts of bad-for-them stuff.”
“Yeah, but this was sex, not…” I trailed off as I watched his expression turn downright mulish. “Wait. Is that your whole deal? You think liking making out with me makes you gay? Or bi?”
“I don’t know what to think.” His voice was soft, and he sounded so alone that I stepped closer.
“Avery.” I risked touching his arm. Luckily, he didn’t flinch away. “I loved what we did too. And if it’s making you question some things about yourself, that’s okay. More than okay. There’s not a damn thing wrong with being bi or gay. Hell, maybe I’m some flavor of pan, but I’m not going to sweat it. Too much other stuff occupying my mental real estate to freak out over what makes my dick hard.”
“Yeah.” He leaned into my touch, breath coming in fast little pants. “Guess you have a point. It’s no big deal. So we got off together, right? So what.”
“And it would be okay if it was a big deal. Like if you had some sort of personal epiphany afterward.” I moved to rubbing his shoulder, grateful we were out of the office’s main traffic area. “It’s the running away that’s unnecessary, not the revelation. You could tell me if what we did made you think. About anything. I wouldn’t judge or think less of you.”