Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 75754 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75754 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
So my solution was to leave before he could say anything else that would upset me.
I managed to make it outside the back door and into the woods that lined the back of my house in less than thirty seconds.
Except when I passed the fallen tree that was about a hundred yards past my back door, I sat down and stared blindly at the ground beneath my feet.
I hated feeling sad.
And I was definitely feeling sad.
Pathetically so.
I think I was more upset with the fact that Sterling would be gone for two weeks rather than the fact that he wasn’t talking to me.
I hadn’t realized how much it’d bothered me that he was leaving after everything that’d happened.
He’d only been here for a few days, and he was already leaving.
A tree branch cracked somewhere behind me, and I twisted my back to look behind me, but nobody was there.
Brows furrowing, I got up from my log and started to walk back to my house.
Maybe if I just told him that I understood and that he could talk to me when he was ready, he’d know I was there for him.
He didn’t need me acting like a bitch.
He had a lot of things on his plate, and not all of those problems revolved around me.
Except as I arrived back at my house and walked inside, Sterling was gone.
I’d only been gone for ten minutes at most, but he’d left, and I had nobody to blame but myself.
***
“What’s your problem?” Lily asked me.
I looked up to find one of my best friends in the world looking at me like she didn’t know me.
“Sterling left,” I said finally.
There was no point beating around the bush.
I’d told her all about Sterling just a few days ago at my lunch with Sawyer and her.
They knew that I was in love with him.
“Why would he do that? Did y’all have a fight?” She asked worriedly.
I shook my head. “No. He has some sort of training and debriefing. He’ll only be gone two weeks…at least that’s what he said. But I didn’t leave things between us good, and I feel like shit about it.”
“What happened?” She questioned, sitting back twirling the fork on top of the table with one finger.
I sighed.
“Well, not much, to be honest. After I got back from lunch with y’all the other day, I came inside and he was just staring at the wall with a blank look on his face,” I said. “At first I thought it was just because he was alone, but he kept doing it for the next two days. Then he just sprung the training he had to do for two weeks on me out of the blue, and I was left reeling.
“This morning I was mad at him for not confiding in me what was wrong, so I left to go on a run knowing he was about to leave. And when I turned around to apologize, he was already gone,” I told her.
Lily nodded. “I think that an apology on your part will be good, yet I don’t see that you did anything wrong here. It seems to me that he just needs to work through his problems on his own, and when he’s ready to let you in on what those problems are, he will.”
I blinked. “That’s all you got?”
She smiled, her straight white teeth were revealed with the brilliance of it.
I couldn’t explain how happy seeing her smile like that made me feel.
I loved Lily.
She was my very best friend in the world, and I hadn’t seen her smile like that in a very long time.
I was glad she was happy.
“Let me tell you something about Alphas,” she said, leaning in closer to me.
I snorted, but leaned in, too.
“And what do you have to tell me?” I asked conspiringly.
“Alphas have some sort of switch in their brain that tell them that expressing their feelings is a weakness,” she said.
“Oh, this should be good,” Lily’s husband said, taking a seat beside me and throwing his arm around me. “I’ve gotta hear this. I might take notes.”
Lily ignored her husband, and I leaned into him and rested my head on his shoulder.
Dante Hail was the most awesome guy in the world.
And I’d met some awesome guys before, especially since I’d been in Benton.
He was the owner of a repo business, and defined what one would call ‘badass.’
He was tall with blonde hair, chiseled cheekbones, sharp blue eyes, and a friendly smile.
“So they don’t tell you what they’re feeling, not because they don’t want you in their business, but because they don’t know how to express themselves without appearing weak.” Lily continued. “Keeping their emotions in check – and to themselves – is something that’s naturally ingrained in these guys. They see emotions as a weakness, weaknesses make them feel inadequate. They don’t acknowledge them, and they certainly don’t speak of them, at least not easily…”
I smiled at Lily.
She really didn’t care that her badass husband was sitting there, listening to her talk about something that was probably a source of contention between them.
I’d remembered on many occasions while visiting with Lily during my incarceration how she’d say that her husband was being ‘bull headed’ and ‘stubborn.’
“What are you talking about, Lil?” Dante asked. “You’re giving her advice you know nothing about.”
“Oh?” She asked. “And how would you suggest she get the information out of him?”
“Honestly?” Dante asked.
Lily nodded
“Ask him. If you want to know, and he wants you to know, he’ll tell you. If he doesn’t want you to know, he won’t tell you. No matter what, though, what he’s not telling you doesn’t mean he cares about you any less. It just means he’s processing it. And when he’s ready to tell you, he will,” Dante informed us.
I snorted.
That sounded like Sterling.
“So did Lily tell you the good news?” Dante asked jovially.
Lily’s eyes went absolutely venomous.
“No,” she said through clenched teeth. “I haven’t.”
I blinked, surprised that she’d taken that tone with her husband.
“What’s up?” I asked them, looking in between the two of them like they were something fun and exciting.