Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 80821 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 404(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80821 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 404(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
I was dealing with college stuff when our sister, Ella, East’s twin, drowned, and back then, all I’d wanted was to be here. I hadn’t wanted to leave for college. Hadn’t wanted to be alone after everything we’d been through, but that had been Dad’s plan for me my whole life. He forced me to go, and in his defense, I pretended to be glad for it.
I make my way through the woods, when I hear East’s voice. Who in the hell is he talking to? All I need is for him to have gotten in trouble for fighting at school and then come out here to hook up with some random girl. Dad will freak out.
He says something, but all I catch is, “Can’t figure out how to make it stop.”
Huh? Can’t figure out how to make what stop?
I see him sitting on a log, but he’s alone. “East? Who are you talking to?”
“Go away.”
He always bites my head off.
But I don’t go. How can I? “Easton, who were you talking to?” I ask again, not stopping until we’re close. His blue eyes are so damn dim, like there is no light left in them. He looks so much like Mom, except he’s missing the joy that clung to her like a second skin, and I wish like hell I could find a way to give it to him.
I want to reach out to him, to hug him, but that’s not what Swifts do. Dad already gives me shit for being too soft on both Morgan and East.
“Nobody! Myself. Jesus Christ. Leave me alone.” East pushes angrily to his feet. “Did you come here to tell me how big of a fuckup I am? Because I already know. I don’t need you to tell me. I don’t need you to be Dad’s fucking errand boy. Stop trying to fix me.”
East turns to walk away, but I reach out and take his wrist. I’m not surprised he thinks I’m only here for Dad. I don’t ever give him or Morgan a reason to believe otherwise. I know they look at me and see him. And part of me wants to be Dad, even as I hate myself for it.
“I’m not here for Dad,” I admit. “I was worried about you. In fact, I was thinking we don’t even have to tell Dad about this. I took care of it, so the school won’t call him.” Our lives are a whole lot easier if we do our best not to anger our father.
“Fuck you, Rhett,” Easton seethes before jerking away.
“Hey. Chill out. Why are you so pissed at me? I’m trying to help you.” When he doesn’t answer and walks away, I follow. “I’m worried about you, East. I know I’ve been gone for a while, with college and law school, but I’m back for good now. I want to fix things with us, to help you.”
Despite the distance between us, I see his body go rigid. I know I said something wrong, but I’m not sure what it could be. “Where’s Morgan?” he asks.
I try to hold back my flinch, but I’m not able to. Of course he’d rather have Morgan. I’m sure they got closer when I was away. “I was just trying to help.”
“How many times do I have to say I don’t need your help?” he growls.
I get it because what the hell can I do anyway? We both know that when push comes to shove, Dad treats East like shit, and I always do whatever Dad tells me to do.
I sigh, look down, hating myself even more for being the way I am…and then, like I’m so good at doing, I walk away.
Unfortunately, I don’t get much of a reprieve. Dad comes home, and all it takes is one look from him to know he heard about East.
“What happened?” he grits out.
“Nothing. It’s fine. I dealt with it.”
“Let me guess, you coddled him the way you used to do? The way Morgan does? I expect that of him but not you. I’m supposed to be able to count on you, Rhett, but you’re always letting me down too.”
I am. I know I am. The hard part is I know I let Mom down too. I didn’t spend time with her like Morgan did. I wasn’t the one she wanted, and most of the time, I don’t know if I’m the one Dad wants either, or if it’s just that I’m easier to deal with than Morgan or East.
“It wasn’t his fault,” I lie, though I know it will piss him off and I have no clue if it was really East’s fault.
“He’s a loser! I’m done with that kid. I should have sent him away a long time ago. He’s a disgrace to the family name.”
I straighten my back, knowing my words are likely to make things worse, but needing to say them. “He’s hurting. Maybe we should try and get him some help.”