Total pages in book: 215
Estimated words: 199344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 997(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 199344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 997(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
Aunt Maya steps into me, taking my hand the same way Noah used to. “I know you have your hang-ups about seeing him again, and I completely understand. He hurt you, and I see it in your eyes every time you look at me. And if this is too much, if you don’t want to do it, then I won’t force it. I’m just . . . I’m desperate, Zo. I’m painfully aware that it’s a lot to put on your shoulders, but I’m hoping you could somehow bring him back to me. All I’m asking is that you just give it a try, and if it doesn’t work, well then . . .”
She trails off with a heavy sigh, not voicing what we all know.
And if it doesn’t work, well then, we know he doesn’t love you anymore.
I try to ignore the sting of her unspoken words, and seeing the desperation in her eyes, I force another smile across my face, willing myself to be strong, willing myself not to break. “Okay,” I finally say in a small voice. “I’ll try, but I can’t make any promises. If he pushes me away, I’m not going to keep going back for more. I just . . . I don’t think I could handle that.”
“Oh, thank God,” Maya says, stepping into me and giving me another hug. “Thank you so much. If anyone can get through to him, I know it’s you.”
Shit. There’s that overwhelming pressure again.
“It’s okay,” I tell her. “Nobody wants to see the old Noah more than I do.”
“I know, sweetheart. Let’s just hope that he’s still buried deep down in there.”
“I’m sure he is,” I lie.
Maya takes a heavy breath, blowing out her cheeks as she steps back to give me a little space, and I can’t help but notice her watery eyes as she reaches for her glass of wine. “Okay,” she finally says. “Now that’s sorted out, tell me all about your summer break. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”
2
Zoey
Racing up the stairs, I feel the tears pricking my eyes. This is too much. How am I supposed to face him again? How am I supposed to look Noah in the eye after everything we’ve been through?
Is it even possible to fall in love at six years old? Maybe even before that? I can’t recall a defining moment, just that from my very first memory as a little girl, Noah was my whole world. He was bigger than the sky, and then one day, poof, he was gone. My life started and ended with him, and when he walked away, I felt so empty. Everything I knew was gone, and it took me months to find my feet.
Noah slammed a door in my face, and I clung to the handle for three long years, but now a small window has appeared, and I’m terrified of what I might find if I peek through it.
Crashing back into my room, I crumble onto my bed, my head squished into my pillow as I try to calm my racing heart. My hands shake, unease blasting through my veins and poisoning me from the inside out.
Here I was thinking my biggest problem was underarm sweat patches on the first day of school. What a joke.
I knew something was off. The second I woke up this morning, my stomach was twisted in knots. I always had a sixth sense when it came to Noah, and here it was screaming at me to run for the hills.
It’s one thing seeing him again, but having to be his guide through East View High? What am I supposed to do when he inevitably tells me to get lost? Drop to my knees in the middle of the school and weep? Scream, fight, or beg for him to love me again? I understand why Maya asked this of me. She’s a desperate parent, and she’s reached the point where she’s willing to risk my heart in order to save him, but where the hell was my backbone when I needed it? Where were my fight-or-flight instincts?
I should have run.
The second Maya showed up and said Noah was enrolled at East View, I should have run and never looked back. It couldn’t be too hard, right? Hell, Noah did it without even glancing back.
With tears in my eyes, I slide out of bed and trudge across my room, wiping my cheeks on the back of my hand. I hear Mom and Maya laughing downstairs, already on their second bottle of wine and acting as though they don’t have a care in the world. When in reality, these two have had to deal with more in their lives than any parent ever should.
Standing in front of my mirror, I look at myself, like really look at myself. I’m not the same girl I used to be. When he last saw me, I was thirteen, scrawny, and didn’t have a clue how to do my hair or makeup. But I’m different now, and I try to see the woman he’ll see me as tomorrow.