Total pages in book: 215
Estimated words: 199344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 997(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 199344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 997(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
Undeniable guilt soars through my chest, and I watch as Zoey turns and storms out of the bathroom. The morning bell sounds through the school, calling everyone to homeroom, but I can’t fucking move. I can barely fucking breathe.
The overwhelming mix of rage, guilt, and pain pound through my body, and I turn toward the sink, gripping it the same way Zoey had been doing when I first walked in, gasping for air. And when I glance up at myself in the mirror, I don’t even recognize the asshole staring back at me.
Zoey was right, I’m a fraud—a fraud who Linc would despise. He would be ashamed of me, but I’m so fucking lost in the dark. There’s no way back for me now, no way to save myself. All I can do is try to get through the rest of high school without fucking things up more. After that, I can disappear. I can start fresh and try to forget about the pain that plagues me.
Walking out of the bathroom, I make my way to homeroom, unable to keep myself from glancing back down the hall at Zoey as she rifles through her locker, hating this hold she has over me.
The second I turn back, the whispers hit, and I hear Linc’s name on the tongue of those who never knew him, those who only care for a fucking story. They call me a killer. Some say I pushed him in front of that car, others claim I was the one behind the wheel, and as I reach homeroom and go to push through the door, it becomes too much, and I find myself turning back.
I barge through the crowded bodies, my mind spinning, and I feel myself slipping even further into the darkness. Before I know it, I push through the door of an unfamiliar room and stare wide-eyed at the woman across from me. “Are you the school counselor?” I ask, my chest heaving with heavy breaths, and my skin burning from Zoey’s touch.
“You must be Noah Ryan,” the woman says. “I was wondering if I might meet you today.”
My brows furrow and she goes on. “Close the door and take a seat,” she says in an overly nice tone. “I think we may have a lot to talk about.”
And with that, I kick the door shut behind me and drop into the chair opposite her desk, ready to fucking break.
“Alright, Noah. I’m not here to tiptoe around the issues. I’ve heard the rumors on my way in, and I can only assume you’re here to talk about your brother,” she tells me. “Now let’s get one thing straight. I’ve been doing this a long time, and if you walk through my door to talk, then that’s exactly what we’re going to do. This is not an hour where you get to waste time and skip classwork. If you’re meeting with me, then we’re going to get to the root of your issues. I want to help you, Noah. But I can only do that if you’re ready to be helped.”
I swallow hard and nod as she goes on. “Alright, let’s talk. What’s going on?”
Clenching my jaw, I prepare to say the one thing that’s haunted me for the past three years, the one thing that plunged me into this world of darkness and has trapped me there. The one thing bad enough to force me to push Zoey away and keep her at arm’s length. “Those rumors,” I tell her, my voice wavering as the guilt and agony become too much to bear. “They’re right. I killed my little brother.”
10
Zoey
After shoving my books into my locker, I go to close the door when Tarni crashes into me, her arms flying around my shoulders and keeping me pinned. “Where have you been all day? I couldn’t find you this morning.”
“I’ve been around,” I tell her, feeling frustrated with our friendship. The comments the girls made on the phone last night still circle my mind.
“Come on,” she grumbles, letting me go before falling against the locker and waiting for my undivided attention. “Don’t tell me you’re still pissed about yesterday? It’s not like Abby knew anything about Lincoln. She was just telling us what she heard.”
I give Tarni a blank stare. “She was using the death of a child, one who I happened to be extremely close with, as a form of entertainment. Not to mention, suggesting Noah was responsible was just wrong. I get that she was just repeating what she heard, but that wasn’t cool, and the fact that you didn’t have my back was an asshole move. You know how close I was with Linc.”
Tarni gapes at me before amusement crosses her face. “Are you shitting me? What is up with you? Ever since Noah showed up, you’ve had your panties in a twist. You need to relax. You know Abby. If she thought there was anything really serious going on, she never would have said anything. You snapping at her like that made her feel like shit, and you know I always have your back, but I wasn’t going to make Abby feel even worse.”