Total pages in book: 215
Estimated words: 199344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 997(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 199344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 997(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
He shakes his head. “Don’t, Zo. Don’t make me picture the life I always wanted with you, with someone else. I can’t do it.”
“Not yet,” I whisper into the night. “But one day. You’re so strong, Noah. You’ve held me up all this time and given me the most wonderful life. You’ve given me so much and taught me what it truly meant to love with everything I am. I took your last name and have gotten to call myself your wife. On top of that, I’ve been the only woman you’ve ever looked at with love in your eyes. You don’t know how much that means to me, Noah. Just having you in my life as my bestest friend has been the greatest gift of all, but nothing would make me happier than being able to watch over you and see your world filled with happiness. I want to watch you tackle parenthood. I want to see you agonizing over paint swatches for the home you’ll build for your family. I want you to have it all, Noah. You deserve it all. And I know it’s going to take some time, but when you’re ready, I’ll give you a sign and let you know that everything’s going to be okay.”
He crushes his arms around my frail body, holding me tighter than ever before, his face buried in my shoulder. “I don’t know how to do life without you.”
“You won’t,” I promise him, resting my hand against his heart. “I’m always going to be right here, guiding you through.”
He’s silent, and the only sound is the soft spring breeze rustling in the leaves. “These past six months, you’ve gotten me through the worst. You’ve held me through chemotherapy and given me the strength to keep going, but it’s my turn now. Let me hold you up the way you’ve held me.”
“I fucking love you so much, Zoey,” he says, lifting his broken gaze to mine.
Reaching up, I cradle the side of his face, looking deep into those eyes that I’ve loved my whole entire life. “You’ve been my whole world, Noah. Don’t ever forget how much I’ve loved you.”
“Never,” he vows, and with that, he brings his lips to mine in the most tender kiss—the sweetest goodbye.
59
Noah
My fingers clutch the single stem of the pink tulip I just picked up from the East View Florist, and I hold it to my chest as I pull up at my mom’s house. Her car’s gone, and I let out a breath of relief. This isn’t exactly a conversation I want to have with her listening in.
This shit is already hard enough.
It’s been three days since Zoey sat out on the roof with me, pouring her heart out and telling me her hopes and dreams for the future I’m supposed to have without her. She made me promise that I wouldn’t fall back into the darkness that consumed me after Linc died, and while I couldn’t get the words out that night, I’m going to do everything in my power to try and keep my head above water. If she needs me to promise her this one thing, then I will. Besides, how could I possibly let her down like that? She’s fought so hard to get this far, so the least I can do is allow her to leave this world with the knowledge that I’m going to be alright.
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Zoey, for my wife.
These past few days have been gut-wrenching. Her organs are quickly succumbing to her illness and shutting down, and while she smiles for me every time I walk into a room, I know she’s in agony. Her fingers are swelling, and she can hardly move, hardly keep her eyes open, and while I want to hold on to her forever, keep her here for my own selfish needs, I need to let her go so she can finally be at peace.
She doesn’t have much longer. I overheard Kelly mention to Zoey’s parents that it could be as soon as tomorrow, which is exactly why I’m here.
Clutching the single pink tulip, I push out of my car and make my way up the familiar path to my mom’s front door before welcoming myself in. I walk into the small foyer and cross through the living room before heading down the hall.
I stop at Linc’s bedroom as the heaviness weighs down on my shoulders.
How the hell did we get here?
This isn’t how this was supposed to play out. She’s only eighteen. She’s barely had a chance to live. I was supposed to give her the world, build a home together, and watch her belly swell with our growing babies. And now when I stare up into the stands on game day, I’ll be looking at nothing but an empty seat.