Total pages in book: 215
Estimated words: 199344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 997(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 199344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 997(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
“I wanna know,” she tells me. “And don’t even think about telling me that you haven’t ever thought about it because I know you have. You’ve known since we were kids, and while I have my own idea of how I wanted to see our lives play out together, I want to know yours.”
I force a smile across my face. She’s right. I’ve been thinking about the future we could have together since I was a kid. I always knew we would end up together and grow old in each other’s arms, but it wasn’t until I was thirteen and realized what I felt for her was more than just a kid’s crush. It ran deeper than anything I knew could exist, anything I’d seen in the movies. Our souls were entwined together, permanently connected as one, and I knew every step we took in life would be done as one.
Since then, it’s been almost impossible not to imagine what kind of life we would build together. But now, knowing that dream is never going to happen, that every day we get closer to having to say goodbye, thinking about that future does nothing but hurt.
“It’s simple,” I say, brushing my fingers over her creamy shoulder. “The second I could, I would have made you my wife and given you the grand wedding you’ve always deserved. Then while we were away doing the whole NFL thing, I’d have your belly swollen with our babies. Four—”
“At the same time?” she gasps.
“No,” I laugh. “Two boys. Two girls. Just like you, me, Linc, and Hazel. It would have been a new generation of musketeers.”
“The boys older,” she whispers in a dreamy state, “so they could always protect the girls, just like you’ve always protected me.”
“Of course.”
“I’m sorry,” she tells me, a heaviness lingering between us. “You don’t know how badly I wish we could have had all of that and more. I think I first started dreaming about marrying you when I was ten, maybe eleven.”
“Really?”
“Uh-huh,” she says, sounding a little sheepish. “Nearly every night for a year straight, I would have these vivid dreams about being yours, whether it was some grand proposal, our actual wedding, or leaving for our honeymoon.”
My heart thunders in my chest, desperately wishing for some kind of window into her mind to see what she saw in those dreams. “You never told me that.”
“I was so young,” she says. “I was embarrassed, and we were still in that awkward stage where we didn’t know if we were more than friends. I didn’t want you to think I was crazy. Besides, you were the older, cool football protégé, and I was such a nerd. On some level, I knew you would never turn your back on me, but I was also terrified that one day you’d realize that I was nothing more than an obsessed kid and start putting distance between us.”
“You really thought that?”
“Right up until Linc died and you actually did,” she admits, a strange tone in her voice, both of us still hurting over that time apart despite how far we’ve come. “I figured one day you would just fall deeper with your football friends, and I’d get left behind. But you never did. You always showed up for me.”
I press a kiss to her cheek, a smile pulling at my lips as I wonder just how much I can still offer her before she finally passes, if I can somehow make just one of her dreams come true. “I’ll never stop, Zo,” I tell her. “I will forever show up for you.”
55
Noah
My palms sweat as my heart booms right out of my chest. I always knew this day was going to come, but I never expected it to be so soon, and certainly not under these circumstances. Sitting out in the park with Zoey tonight and hearing how she always envisioned our lives together only made me realize just how right this is.
She didn’t last much longer dancing in the park, and she had me find Hazel’s hoverboard out in the grass before letting me help her into my car. I brought her home, and she was out cold within five minutes. It’s been a big day for her, and despite being so exhausted, I’m glad she pushed through and was able to enjoy our version of prom night.
It’s not exactly how she always planned senior prom, but it was everything to me.
Before Zoey got sick, I never realized just how much I’d taken our time together for granted, because I always believed that we had a whole lifetime together, but with a clock on our time, I’m doing everything I can to make every second count. Which is exactly why I’m sneaking out of her bedroom and gently closing the door behind me.