Total pages in book: 215
Estimated words: 199344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 997(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 199344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 997(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
I pull out of my mother’s arms, my head shaking more violently as desperation pulses through my veins. This can’t be it. I take off, racing toward his car. “NOAH!” I cry, but he’s gone in a flash, hitting the gas and storming down the street as I feel that tether between us stretching and adapting to this new normal.
A loud sob tears from the back of my throat as I hurry out into the road, every last piece of my soul tearing to shreds, and despite being so far away and unable to see through the flood of tears pouring from my eyes, I know he sees me through the rearview mirror, watching as his whole world gets further and further away.
Then as I watch his car disappear around the bend, what’s left of me crumbles, and I fall to my knees on the hard asphalt, the remnants of my soul turning to ash and blowing away with the last of summer.
37
Zoey
Ayear ago today, Noah blasted back into my world like a soldier on a mission, only at that point, neither of us had any idea what his mission actually was. Now, looking back on everything that came from the past twelve months, I almost can’t believe it.
It’s been a week since he left for college, and while he’s stuck to his word and called me every day, it hasn’t been the same. There’s nothing I hate more than distance, but if having mere scraps of him is what I need to survive over the next year, then that’s exactly what I’ll do.
I stare in my mirror.
Senior year.
I always thought that I’d be excited when this time came, but somehow, I just know this is going to be the hardest year of my life. Shannan has already let me know that she plans on rising back to the top this year, and I’m not going to lie, I was kinda hoping the humiliation of having to repeat her senior year would keep her down, but apparently, she’s not the type to learn from her mistakes. Or perhaps now that I don’t have Noah backing me at school, she will no longer see me as a threat. If that’s the case, I’ll be her favorite target all over again.
Then there’s Tarni.
I’ve known her too long not to assume that she isn’t going to try to work her way back into the spotlight. She likes the attention too much, and if she has to step on me to get in with Shannan and her followers, she will. The only difference is, she doesn’t have Abby and Cora backing her up anymore. Truth be told, I was kinda hoping that Abby and Cora might have grown up a little over the summer and wouldn’t completely hate it if I hung out with them. They were happy to drive me home from the lake party last week, but I’m almost certain they just felt sorry for me.
Letting out a heavy breath, I finish brushing through my hair and twist it up into a bun before backing up a few steps and dropping down onto the end of my bed. I’ve been so tired this week, and I keep telling myself that it’s just the emotional turmoil of being so far away from Noah, but there’s this little nagging feeling in the back of my mind warning me that it’s something more.
It’s not normal to be this tired, to wake up first thing in the morning feeling lethargic. Most nights this week I’ve gone to bed early after the dizzy spells hit, and damn it, it makes me so nervous.
I was only six when I was diagnosed with leukemia. I remember the day so clearly. It’s the day I forced Noah to fake propose to me in the backyard. Linc was three and running around doing his own thing, and Hazel was still just a baby.
Noah had gotten down on one knee, told me how beautiful I was, and then asked me to marry him. It was everything—until he decided he didn’t like my girl kisses. I suppose things really do change because now, it seems that my stupid girl kisses are his most favorite thing in the world.
It was maybe only an hour or so after that when my parents sat me down and told me what was happening to me, and I didn’t understand a single thing. They were telling me I was a very sick little girl, but I remember thinking they were wrong. I didn’t feel sick. I was fine, but the hell the doctors had in store for me . . .
I don’t ever want to go through that again. But this is different. This tiredness, this lack of energy . . . It has to be different, right?
Maybe I’m just imagining the whole thing just to keep myself from having to go to school. Besides, Mom takes me for regular tests, and in six months, I’ll hit the ten-year anniversary of being cancer-free.