Regretting You Read online J.L. Beck, Cassandra Hallman (Blackthorn Elite #4)

Categories Genre: Angst, Dark, Erotic, New Adult, Romance Tags Authors: , Series: Blackthorn Elite Series by J.L. Beck
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Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 65552 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 328(@200wpm)___ 262(@250wpm)___ 219(@300wpm)
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A sudden nervousness washes over me. For a long time, I blamed myself. I hated myself because hating myself was easier than admitting that she was gone. It was easier than believing something bad had happened to me, and like a domino effect, everything came crashing down. I miss Jillian every day, and I am thankful beyond measure that Jackson decided to stay and be my rock over the last year.

“We didn’t have to come here,” he says as we join hands, and I close the car door. The sun is still perched in the sky, and a soft breeze blows through the trees. Everything about this moment feels right.

“We did,” I say, turning to him.

Hand in hand, we walk to Jillian’s grave. I never got to go to the funeral since I was still in the hospital the day they had it, but I came here on my own to say my goodbyes once I was released. It’s the first time Jackson and I have ever been here together, though, and it’s special to me because it’s like our healing is coming full circle.

Stopping in front of her grave, I stare at the words etched into the stone.

Loving daughter, sister, and friend.

My eyes well with tears as I drag my fingers over the letters.

Turning to face Jackson, I can see the emotions on his face, each flickering with a different degree.

“After everything that happened, I never expected to want to be with you. I was determined to forget that you existed and to move on with my life, but you didn’t let me go. You stayed with me through the good and the bad and showed me that you really do care.”

“I love you, Kennedy, and I’ve been telling you that since the day you came home from the hospital. I loved you even when I was hurting you because I was hurting.”

I nod, a lump forming in my throat. “I love you too. This last year has made me appreciate you so much, and I wanted to come here to Jillian’s grave and tell you that I forgive you. That I love you, and I’m ready to embark on whatever journey is planned for us. I’m ready to be a couple.”

Jackson releases my hand and cups me by my cheeks, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to my lips. All I can feel is him, the warmth of his lips, the kindness of his touch.

“I already thought we were,” he says, grinning, which in turn makes me smile.

“Technically, we kinda were, but we never made it official, and you never pushed or asked me if I forgave you. You let me heal all on my own, picking me up when I fell down.”

Neither of us says anything, we just stand there holding each other, letting the breeze rush past us and into the trees.

“Do you think Jillian would be happy if she saw us now?”

Jackson pulls away but only slightly. “I think Jillian sent us to each other, so we could heal together because she knew even though it was going to be rough that we needed each other.”

I nod because I did need him. I needed him so that I could let go of the pain. I needed his anger so I could realize that I wasn’t the only one to blame.

“I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you too, and I’m glad you didn’t leave when I told you to.”

“I’m a little bit stubborn.” He lets out a chuckle.

“A little bit?” I shake my head and look back at Jillian’s grave one last time before we leave to head back to the car.

I miss you, and I’ll never stop missing you.

Thank you for giving me your brother.

The End


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