Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 67982 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 340(@200wpm)___ 272(@250wpm)___ 227(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 67982 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 340(@200wpm)___ 272(@250wpm)___ 227(@300wpm)
She jerks and frowns in confusion, but I hold her in place.
“Josie, it’s you that turned my world upside down with how amazing you are. You’re beautiful and intelligent and have so much going for you. You’re in a league of your own.”
“Then what’s the problem?” she asks. “Because if I’m so great, why do you have such a worried look on your face?”
My head drops and I take a deep breath. I let it out and tilt my face back up to hers. “Because you’re just too great for me.”
“That’s ridiculous and stupid and it sure sounds like you’re doing the old ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ thing,” she sputters. “If you want to break up, just fucking say it.”
“No, I don’t want to break up,” I growl at her in frustration. “I don’t know what the hell I want. No, that’s not true. I do want you. I just don’t think I’m the best man for you, so when I say it’s all about you, I really mean that. I want you to have the best. You deserve the best.”
“Why would you think it’s not you?” she asks quietly, and my hands drop off her shoulders. “Have I done something to make you think that?”
“Not at all. But I’ve noticed things lately—”
“Like what?” she counters aggressively.
I remain calm. “Like I’m missing the marks on some things.”
She doesn’t respond, but just crosses her arms over her chest and glares at me with pure skepticism.
“When I golfed with Aiden last week—” I start to say.
“Don’t even make this about Aiden,” she snarls at me.
“I’m not. Trust me. I think Aiden’s a decent guy. But in just a short time with him, it was evident where I fall short with you.”
Okay, so I ended up making it about me, which I guess that’s really what this is about. Josie finally sees that this is about my insecurity and her face softens with empathy. “Reed.”
“Don’t,” I say a little too harshly as I hold my hands up in a defensive gesture. “Just…let me get this out.”
She concedes by giving a slight nod of her head, her eyes are worried for me and not for herself.
Typical Josie.
“When that patient died that day I brought the Cup to the hospital, I wanted to comfort you and I wanted you to cry in my arms. But you didn’t need or want that. You wanted someone to tell you to shore up your backbone and get back into the fray so you can save another life that’s meant for you to save.”
Josie’s face goes slightly pale and I know I’m hitting the mark. In this very moment, I know Aiden was speaking pure truth to me.
“I watch you, Josie. I see how amazing you are, and you need things that help keep you motivated to be amazing. You need intelligent discussion and passionate projects to keep you stimulated. You are a healer. You save lives. I’m just a high school graduate who plays hockey now. There are very real things you need that I can’t give you.”
“But there’s more to you than just those things,” she points out.
“Sure there is,” I say with a wan smile. “But I notice you didn’t disagree that you need those things. Listen, and I can’t believe I’m actually going to fucking say this, but someone like Aiden…that’s really what you need.”
Josie’s eyes narrow at me and her face turns red. “I actually think you might be a moron, Reed.”
I disregard the snark and the anger, and move forward now that we’re talking about this. I can see she’s not going to take me seriously, so I push at her harder. “I’ve got training camp coming up.”
“So?”
“So I’ve got to get my head back in the game. It’s a pinnacle season and the pressure is on. I don’t have a lot of room in my life for worries, and this is all worrying me, Josie. At least respect that my worry is real.”
And I can see it on her face. She’s not going to buy a single fucking thing I’m saying. I know that because I can see it deep in her eyes that she’s sold on me.
Just as I am on her.
And it’s wrong.
At least I think it is.
Fuck…I don’t know what we may or may not have together, but I do know one thing. I’ve got to give her every opportunity to make sure there’s not someone better. Someone who’s more suited to give her everything that she could possibly ever want in a man.
“I think we should take a break,” I say without blinking my eyes.
Her eyes narrow even further at me. “You do, do you?”
“Maybe even give Aiden another chance,” I say, and the words taste like shit on my tongue. Pure and utter nasty shit. They’re wrong and I need to take them back quickly.